The Rural Omnivore

Sustainable farming

2012-01-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

On the left side of my blog you will see a variety of blogs, one in particular is dear to my heart, Lakeview Farm. I went to high school with the owner/operator/farmer. He was the one who got away, not that I really pursued him, but I most certainly should have. But that is neither here no there. They raise meat animals in a natural and sustainable way. I hope to purchase a half of a lamb this spring. I love lamb, I really do, if I had freezer room I'd purchase a whole one. I have discovered, however, that like most store bought meat, store bought lamb is not as tasty as I remember when I raised sheep in high school.
The farm is in Halsey which in the Valley which makes it very hard to purchase the chicken, eggs, turkey, and coffee that they also sell. You can also buy a share in a cow and receive all the products she produces. Can't buy milk, of course, because Oregon had a freak attack about unpasturized milk products. Anyway, if you live near there, not that anyone even reads my blog, you should contact them about purchasing their products.
My stomach is rumbling from a recipe for roasted chicken, of course chicken raised at Lakeview, I will try the recipe this week with, unfortunately, store bought chicken from Safeway.

Divinity has landed

2012-01-22T19:53:00.000-08:00

Finally did it! And now of course I have eaten half of them already.

They taste good, in my humble opinion, I just needed to cook the sugar mixture a bit longer and take more time with egg whites. I'll not be sure I have it under control until I am able to replicate more than one batch. Sort of the scientific method of candy making.

Day 3 of now what is called an inclement weather day.

2012-01-20T13:17:00.000-08:00

"Inclement weather" sot of catches it all don't you think? Flooding in my hometown of Salem caused the District to cancel classes and crazy ice shuttered schools here in Hermiston. Ice is so bad I couldn't walk on the grass, which I thought was safer, without falling down. And again it is sort of nice because I can make Emma slide the way I want her to go, which is on to the parking lot for some reason. Falling in the parking lot would have hurt, falling in the grass hurt my pride.
The sun came out and melted just enough old ice to get to make new ice. How wonderful, people still driving a bit crazy on the highway, way too fast for the conditions. Oh, and of course the one truck that zipped by was Swift truck, yes "Swift" is the name of the hauling company. Driver drove way too fast, way too fast maybe he was the same Swift driver who almost killed a few weeks ago on 395 in Power City. Which reminds me there is a Wildlife Area in Power City that I keep not going to. It is on the way to McNary Dam and I just don't make the turn, I'll do better next week since this weekend we are probably stuck here until the ice melts. I've been watching the people having to go to work this morning and even with studs they are slipping a bit before the studs catch.
I am so glad I walked to Safeway on Wednesday and got a few things and that I stopped Tuesday night on my way home from class. There is no way I could walk to the store the past two days. Watching a neighbor trek to the garbage cans hope he makes it ok. Sun is currently not winning the battle with the clouds, which means the ice is still hard as a rock.

Snow Day!

2012-01-18T15:56:00.000-08:00

Got the call at 5:24 this morning, yes I checked my phone. I was then awake for about an hour, which sucked but at least I remembered to turn off the alarm.
Today is Black Internet Day or something, several sites are going black to protest SOPA and PIPA which is supposed to go before Congress later this month. While I do not understand the intricacies of the bills, I do understand why there are protests in opposition to them. This time it seems that Hollywood or producers of content that will end up on the Internet are banging Congress with millions to be able to block content, pull down content, etc. without due process. Not very liberal of you Hollywood. I always cite my sources so I don't think I would be a target, but then again you never know especially if the entity who wants it pulled down doesn't need any proof at all to accuse of you doing infringing on copywrite.
I think these bills are in reaction to wikileaks. What I would like to know has any person or operation or government been truly compromised by what has been leaked? And I know if the leaks were of Taliban or Al Quada, I know I spelled that wrong, no one would care now would they? Or if North Korea's dirty little secrets were aired or any of our enemies, but because it was our secrets we are all up in their faces about it. Now that I have made myself a target I will again become apolitical.
Ok, I'm never really apolitical, but why is the Internet so slow today, or is it the weather here that is the problem? Yes, that whole sentence didn't make a lot of sense, but as I said the Internet is slow and I had wait like 30 seconds for that sentence to even appear.
Have a wonderful rest of the day.

It snowed!!

2012-01-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

Well, it did snow last night, of course most of it is gone now, but it did snow! I will be going to see my new granddaughter in about two weeks and I am excited to hold her and get to know her a little bit. I am also going to be picking up Mouse. Mouse is a two year old pug raised by a former colleague and friend. Ok, not a former friend, but anyway, Mouse had an eye infection when he was a puppy and is now going blind. I was thinking about either a dog or kitten and Phil asked if I would like Mouse. I actually have a bit of experience with blind dogs, my own Mimi lost her sight and moved happily about our house and the backyard for many years. She was of course an old dog. I also worked at a vet's office where they had a blind cocker spaniel. She too was able to move about the vet office with relative ease. Her name was Misty.
My daughter is upset that I am not bringing over Destiny, but my lovely old Destiny is about 80 lbs and too big for the apartment. I tussled over bringing her here after she spent some time here over the Christmas Break. But the more I thought about it, the more I just knew she wasn't as happy here. Kelsey says Destiny misses me and whines a lot. I think Destiny missed the girls, Lauren and Lexi. She also whined here, but that could have been more here worrying over where she was.

This is Destiny laying on the couch with Lauren a couple of years back. I love and miss that dog, but I think farm life is better for her than being couped up in a one bedroom apartment most of the day.

Snow???

2012-01-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

The forecast says snow showers, then later in the week freezing rain. I prefer snow showers thank you very much. I am not sure what Emma prefers, other than balmy weather. She has a great coat.

It even has a hood! Payday I will be getting her some booties in anticipation of even colder weather. I checked at Eddie Bauer, $69; and at Petco $39. Eddie's booties got more raves than pans and Petco's more pans than raves. But man, $69? I don't know. I need new walking sneakers and those run $65 to $120. Of course, at least for me, I buy one pair of walking shoes every three or four years, maybe two now that I am walking more on daily basis so the price is crazy. Emma's probably one pair every, probably ever, for her. Just worried about how she will take to them.

Since Christmas

2012-01-13T21:52:00.000-08:00

I was so lucky to have Andrew for a whole week! I miss him so much. I miss Kelsey's girls a bunch too. That's what happens when grandchildren live with you. As my six month in Hermiston begins I am sharing the pictures of my grandkids

Andrew posing at McNary Dam Nature Area, that rock is one that came all the way from Montana during the Missoula Floods, little Lexi waiting impatiently for Thanksgiving dinner, and lastly Lauren and Jesse. Miss them all so much. When I have really good pics of my newest grandchild LilyAnne those will be posted here too.

Christmas Day

2011-12-25T13:29:00.000-08:00

My first attempt at divinity in oh about 40 years. This batch looks strikingly similar to the one 40 years ago. Kind of sad, but I will try again.
Emma and I took a walk at the dam today. Smelled a skunk, luckily it stayed away from us and we from it. Also saw swans.

The dang birds always fly away. Skittery they are, which makes it difficult to take their pictures. The swan were on the other side of the pond so didn't take to wing before I got a picture.
Also took some pictures of the power lines, they looked sort of like robot guardians and they hummed and buzzed like crazy.

Also, the sage brush and other vegetation just looked cool. It was 27 degrees I discovered on our way back to the apartment. The sky this morning was beautifully red, pink, and orange. Which means, "red sky in morning sailors take warning." So I am hoping no warnings to drivers, just sailors. Driving into Salem tomorrow and back in one day so weather needs to be driveable, pretty please. I am hoping gas stays low until after I have gotten back from bringing Andrew back home.
I hope one and all have a good day filled with what is needed most.

A very merry Christmas

2011-12-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

Well, just hours away from Christmas. Each Christmas Eve, especially since my family trundles off to their other family's Christmas Eves, I long for the Forcier/Chretien Christmas Eves of my childhood. Those were the real thing, full of family, love, and just Christmasness. Ok, Christmasness isn't a word, but that is how I feel about those Christmas Eves.
I do not and will not begrudge my family spending time with their newly formed families. I do begrudge that since these families have come together I have never had a Christmas Eve or Christmas with my family, not one. I don't even get Thanksgiving. Now I am far away and I even have a hard time getting one grandchild for a week. The grandchild I raised for nearly two years. Yes I resent it, but what do I do about it?
Christmas has always a magical time for me, yes even now. There is something magic about it and for me there always will be, even if I spend it alone with my dog. This Christmas, Emma and I will go on our long walk, hopefully at the dam. I have no idea if the trails will be open or not, if not we'll walk somewhere else. Things always seem to work out on Christmas, don't they? There is always one thing or other that works out after not working out all year long. At least it seems that way for me. Maybe it is just me stressing out over something for a year and then finally working it out. I prefer the magic part.

I am not a Coke drinker, but man they find the best artists to create their Santas, this one is from 1951. I didn't put up my Santa ornaments this year, primarily because I didn't get a tree. If I would had family over, a tree I would have, but that didn't happen. It will always likely be my job to get to their homes on Christmas. I know I live a long ways away, but no one has come to visit me and that sort of hurts. But enough of the pity me party. Because I am very happy here being far away isn't as bad as it could be and for that I am grateful. Hermiston is a nice place to live, wish I lived in a house, but the apartment is ok for now.

Another Coke rendition of Santa. I love Santas, just realized that I didn't buy my annual Santa ornament, dang it! Even if I didn't have a tree, of course, no Hallmark here in Hermiston and I totally spaced it when I went to the mall in Tri Cities. Oh well, there's always next year.

Walkies

2011-12-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

Went to the dam today, but I was feeling hinky so we only stayed long enough for Emma to do her business. Yesterday I saw pelicans and I even took a picture with my phone.

Not a great photo, I have to remember to bring my camera so I can get better quality pictures. Today, because my Ipod was being temperamental I could here the power lines above my head humming. I guess I never heard them before because I was usually listening to my Ipod. Earlier in the week we explored other areas of the park and when we came upon a grouping of three electrical towers, in the picture you can see the same arrangement on the Washington side of the Columbia, I had the creepiest, most eerie feelings. I wonder if it was the electric charge coming from the towers and wires?
Excited for Monday, going to go pick up my Andrew for a visit. Also bringing along Destiny, my black lab, to see if she can navigate my stairs without pain, I worry about her so much. Of course, the weather guy just said that it is going to rain! Of course it is, hasn't rained all month and when I am planning some short day trips to the cool parks around here it is going to rain. Ah, well, if it is rain like I've experienced here before I guess I shouldn't worry too much about our plans being washed out.
I have to share one more picture of the sisters, the story just catches me up.

Coyote is such a little devil. I love his stories. This one is about Coyote falling in love with three sisters who set their nets at the confluence of the Snake, Walla Walla, and Columbia rivers to catch salmon. Each day they set their nets and each night Coyote takes them down. He finally marries all three and all is happiness, but then Coyote gets jealous, as he often does, and he changes two of the sisters into pillars and the third into a cave just off shore. I wonder if the cave is actually still there?

Where not to eat

2011-12-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I've written. Not sure why, just haven't taken the time I guess. I splurged on a hamburger the other day. There is a Fuddruckers here in Hermiston, I have never been to a Fuddruckers, so I thought why not?
I like the build your own burger part of the place, but the fries and bacon cheese burger were probably the worst I have ever had. No, really, quite nasty. I was still tasting it the next day, even after I brushed my teeth. I love a good juicy burger and this wasn't it. The meat was dry and the bacon tasted as if it was cooked a few hours before. I had to settle for pepper jack cheese because they were out of cheddar. Interesting, since it was only like 1 pm. As I said I liked the do it yourself bar thing where I could put on what I wanted, unfortunately, that was the only good thing about the place. I will give the place, well not the one in Hermiston, another chance if I ever am hungry and happen to pass by another store in another town.
This has been the only place where I have eaten here in Hermiston that I would tell my family to stay away from. I am going to take Andrew to Hales for lunch one day next week. It is a local place and I prefer local to chain. La Palma is a Mexican food place and they make a fine Chili Relleno. The other Mexican place I have gone to makes a nice Relleno too, just don't order ahead and then show up late. I've also eaten a few times at the Panda something buffet, it is good and I really like the buffet thing. The outside is sort of creepy, but the food is good. The Fortune something is also supposed to be good place to get Chinese, but I haven't tried it yet. Ye Olde Pizza Shoppe is a good pizza place, nothing to write home about, but it is good and it isn't Pizza Hut. Oh, went to Shari's not so good and Denny's also not so good. I was surprised by both as they are chains and you'd think their quality control would be better. Even Pizza Hut and McDonalds were good examples of their type of food. I guess the cooks at Shari's and Denny's, I call them cooks because they certainly weren't chefs, don't give a rat's ass whether people come back. I certainly won't go back or take my family there if they ever visit me here.
I have high hopes for Hale's, not just because a former student works there, but because it truly is a local place. Though winter eating is always a dice throw because there is so little fresh veggies and fruits. Which brings up another point that I really haven't figured out, why the heck is the produce here of such an inferior quality to the produce I am used to in Salem? Even the local produce stand sucks as a place to go find that perfect veggie or piece of fruit, I just don't get it.

Marvels

2011-11-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

Emma and I have had to conserve gas so we haven't had any treks to parks in the last week. But I have found I still marvel at the landscape here. Even from the same location. I can see The Butte, a nice place to hike and climb I understand if you don't get stopped by the RATTLE SNAKES! Vipers are sort of like scorpions in my book, oh and there are scorpions here as well. Spiders freak me out, especially the one I saw a month or so ago that I swear was over three inches in diameter. Its size could be due to the fact that it was dark and it sort of dropped out of a tree just in front of and above head and scared the shit out of me. It was oblivious to me and of course it did not concern Emma one bit.
Ok, gross I am listening to the Audiobook "Phantoms" by Dean Koontz, and the narrator just described a man who's brain, face, and tongue were sucked up by a huge moth. Heh, my mom hated moths, now I know why.

Nature Trails at McNary Dam

2011-11-06T17:40:00.000-08:00

Emma and I went to McNary Dam today for a long walk. Lots of trails and lots of ways to get lost, I think I spent a lot of time trying to orient myself to where we were in relation to the car. The trails are nicely maintained, though people need to pick up after their dogs more than they seem to. I know some was wild creature poo, but really taking your dog to the park and letting them poop on the trail where people walk? Really?

One reason I didn't get lost was they had these cool images painted on rocks. Ok, I still would have got lost if I wasn't paying attention. They have trails through the wetland area, which if I lived in the bayous I would have worried about Emma and me becoming alligator lunches. There were ducks everywhere and they are very a jumpy bunch, hence I didn't get any pictures of them. Perhaps some people don't understand the wildlife refuge part of the equation. I guess people could also be scaring the poor things on purpose, but people wouldn't do that would they?

Films that may have shaped who I am

2011-11-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

I have known for a very long time that the Disney film, The Flight White Stallions began the shaping of my views of who the Nazis were/are. It was, of course, the horses that drew me in to that insight. The Sound of Music also added to the molding of my views. It seems that center of many of my views are horses. What my parents saw as a whim that really didn't warrant nurturing, a love horses, shaped who I am. Horses shaped my movie viewing habits, if it was a Western I watched it. Tonka, another horse film by Disney, and Run Appaloosa Run began to shape my view American Indians. Whether by design or happenstance Disney showed me how the treatment of American Indians by Whites was, well, not good. I was curious about Indians, Salem was home to one of the last Indian Boarding Schools. Actually, Chemawa is still there remodeled and housing American Indian youth needing a little extra help. We never heard or really knew what went on at Chemawa, the brick buildings were an imposing series of brick buildings. They were cold and not at all inviting. Those buildings are now gone, my historian side wishes they hadn't been demolished, but I think I may understand why they had to go. The newly Confederated Tribes rebuilt the school and now it is a temporary home to American Indian youth from many bands and tribes. They host Powwows and sports events. I recently watched Little Big Man with Dustin Hoffman. That film shaped my view of how Whites fucked up the West, not opened it. While watching with my 54 yr old eyes, I realized that again it was the horse that shaped my views, not just the actions of idiots like Custer. How Indians rode, how they tamed, how they valued horses has been revealed to me in other films I cannot remember the names of. And it is their connection to the horse that hooked me into wanting to know about their history and indirectly the history of horses in the Americas.
Other films have shaped me, but I find in slightly different ways, Tora Tora Tora didn't make hate the Japanese, it made me want to learn about their side of WWII. Scarface made me wonder why Cubans had such political control over south Florida. Films about Hitler did not make marvel at his prowess as a leader, but why a man that nuts took control of country after country killing millions in his name and the U.S. did nothing until the Japanese blew up Pearl Harbor. Vietnam I saw on TV, live TV at times I think. It wasn't until I was in high school in the early 70's that it hit me as to what horrors the U.S. were. Ok, Air America was later of course and had Mel Gibson, but made total sense to me.
I think I have always been a closet liberal. Well, not totally closeted, but not vocal in public. Not sure why that still is, but it is unlikely that piece will change much. Especially since hardly anyone reads my little bloggings. As I sit here I am watching the Showtime Series Homeland, interesting to say the least. Thank goodness for Charter OnDemand! So if anyone does actually read what I write, please share your musings about films that may have shaped who you are.

Traveling around the area

2011-11-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

Finally took the time to travel a bit, had the gas and money for a tank more so I went on a little drive after spending a hefty amount on winter attire. Still need pants and some boots, oh and four snow tires. It has already snowed in the hills around here, so winter is a coming.

The first picture has actually become the beginning of my new life. I took this while on my way to my interview at Hermiston High School. The next pictures are from Hat Rock State Park. Emma and I journeyed there last Sunday. Hat Rock was mentioned in the journals of Lewis and Clark. I read a marker placed by local tribes, I think, that says while Lewis and Clark mentioned Hat Rock sitting there all solitary, they didn't mention the three sisters that they had to have passed on their way down the River. Legend has it that three sisters angered the Creator, again my memory has failed me, and he cast them into the three stone pillars. Only two are now visible, the third being covered by the River. Emma and I will have take the long trip, on the way to Walla Walla, in the future so I can photograph them as well.

Not sure what happened with two of the pictures, but stand up and tilt your head and you will see the locks at McNary Dam and a shot of the Columbia.

Emma

2011-10-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

Emma did very well with being alone overnight. I didn't have to repaint or anything. We drove to Salem this weekend so I could go to a conference today about alternative schools. I learned that I need to learn more. Emma and Trixie are being let for alternate periods of time because they can't seem to get along with each.
Right now the beautiful Alexis is bothering me, I so don't care she is too cute. She was playing hide and seek with her daddy and telling him, "No," each time he tried to get her to look for him.
That is one of the things I miss so very much. Not the waking me up early in the morning, but the cuteness of the two them.
Lauren is loving school and Kelsey is doing a good job at her focused. Andrew is having a very hard time, said inappropriate things to some girls and got in a fight. Part of me says, Brandon sort of deserves this for his bad school behavior, but he wasn't in middle school. Oh well, it will all work out I am sure.

Walking

2011-10-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying my walks more and more even though I basically walk the same route every time. I am thinking a venture into town, yes with Emma, might be the next walk. Probably on a Saturday or Sunday. Less vehicle traffic and stress for Emma. I won't be able to stop in the shops, but I can get a look at them and come at another time without Emma.
Emma is going to be very annoyed with me on Thursday she will in the bathroom for about 24 hours alone. I hate to do that, but I can't afford to kennel her. I'll have to get her shots at the end of the month and then the expense won't be so onerous. Man shots went up since the last time I had her in. If I had the money on the 15th I would take her into Silvercreek when we are in town, but even if it is less there than at Hermiston Vet Clinic. Money is tight.... I am so hoping that stress will even out once the regular paychecks come.
Emma has made a right mess of one of her pillows, only insides are left.
Picture to follow as it is on my phone, not the computer.

Field trips and walking

2011-10-02T18:08:00.000-07:00

On Friday walked with Joseph's classes to the CSEPP offices. Not sure I spelled the acronym right, but it is the organization originally created to educate the public in case of an accident with chemicals at the Umatilla Depot. I guess I knew there was Serin at the Depot, but since I lived so far away never really paid much attention to that or the discussions about the VX Gas that was there too. It was very interesting to listen to the speaker talk so nonchalantly about the Serin that was destroyed. One drop of Serin in a subway in Japan killed a lot of people. But I kept my mouth shut, also kept it shut during the VX discussion. Mustard Gas is the only chemical weapon left and they expect to be rid of it by the end of October.
I think it was more the nonchalant attitude that disturbed me, than the fact that the agents were housed there. They are supposed to clean it all up and leave it as they found it 1941. Personally I think they should utilize those igloos for something productive. A military museum would be nice, I like museums. Also maybe a museum/natural history site. Like those too. I know I hear a lot about The Gorge and the Columbia, but not a whole lot about the upper Columbia. I don't think museums are huge tourist draws, but maybe this one would be.
Emma and I took a shorter walk today, but we did walk so that is a good thing. The walking combined with eating my biggest meal in the morning is turning out to be a good thing, I'm losing a bit of weight. Not a whole lot, because I don't exercise other than the walking, but any little helps.

Mondays are busy

2011-09-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

Finally current on some bills, rent due on Saturday and that means a trip to Kennewick. Only 60 miles or so round trip so not too bad. Get up early take Emma out and then off to Kennewick in the morning, then back and take Emma out again and then to work. So Wednesday will be busy too.
It will be so nice to have bills paid, though it will be rough until the 25th of Oct. it will all work out.
Getting Meggin into a groove, I hope, by having her make calls home on a daily basis when students are absent. Next up, start constructing some lessons for direct instruction. Students are bored with being on the computer all night, well two hours, so I'm thinking mini lessons for History and English that can be taken off Odysseyware lessons. Did it before shouldn't be too hard to do now, just time consuming going through the courses again to get familiar with how to modify it. Thank goodness for the projects in Odysseyware.
I hope to be able to explore the area more after my next paycheck. That sounds so whinny, always talking about the lack of money. But until the 25th it pretty much rules my plans.
I love to drive, actually did go a very short trip yesterday to Irrigon, don't laugh. Small quiet town with a really nice kiddy park. Also drove through Umatilla on my way to Irrigon, also small. All so close and all so small. Next trip, tomorrow, to unfamiliar territory and another state!

Saturdays are restful

2011-09-24T11:30:00.000-07:00

At least they are supposed to be right? And actually I am really doing nothing that I don't want to do today, so it is restful in that sense. Emma and I had our morning walk today, there are way more cars on the road at 8 am on a Saturday, than during the week. So I guess many people are not having a restful day.
I drove our walk the other day and it is about 2 miles. Not too bad, we walk about 6 out of the 7 days. Fridays are an early day, regular day for the other teachers, so we don't do our long walk. Only long enough for her morning pee and poop and then back to the apartment to get ready for work. Emma is still having anxiety over cars driving, but I am holding out hope that she will relax with time.
There is a young Weimeriner, I am sure that isn't spelled right, that really really wants to approach Emma, but she doesn't. She is a beautiful dog, she opts to stalk us for awhile and then trots back to her territory. She is a good dog in that respect. Doesn't bark insanely like the huge and beautiful German Shepard on First Street and hopefully if she ever does approach close enough for a sniff Emma doesn't growl at her like she did the neighbor's dog. Emma is quite the fuss budget, but man I wish the growling would stop since Nika only wants to play. I am afraid to let her off leash in case she reacts like she does with Trixie. Depending on bills, I hate that, I may buy an electronic training collar, the one Matt broke really cowed her.
Today is supposed to be hot, 90 according to the Kennewick news. Just like Salem, Hermiston doesn't have a local, ok Kennewick is way closer to Hermiston than Portland is to Salem. I haven't really sat down and watched the nightly news, I miss the 5pm because I am at work, by 11 pm I am ready for bed.
Thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight and tomorrow, game hen and something else. Need some veggies to. Can't go grazing at the local fresh market this weekend so I will limited to what Safeway has.

Friday is not payday

2011-09-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

So, Hermiston is the first school district I have worked for that is paying me the day after payday because payday falls on a Sunday. Unbelievable! Luckily, no bills are due until later next week. Very very disrespectful in my opinion and my first experience with the people of Hermiston being not all helpful.
Other than that, the week has ended well. I will eventually figure out PowerSchool and my attendance will be accurate every time.
Watching Kitchen Nightmares and I think one of the first things I will try to cook will be homemade mac and cheese. After I buy some chicken and steaks and well now I'm making myself hungry. The first cooking utensil I will be buying, probably not until October's check though, is a small BBQ that will fit on my small deck, I really miss cooking with a BBQ.
I have got to hook my students into coming, think think think, as Pooh would say. My "depression" at not teaching last year has made me very uncreative. I hope I can regain my former passion, though now that I think about it that was beaten out of me my last year at Willamina. I hope the environment change will bolster me as the year progresses. I really want to do a better than good job. Hooking them will take a lot of work, but I think with Meggin's help we can get things rolling.
I miss my boys and my girls very much, they kept me sane last year and I miss them dearly. Emma is really helping, though she is just a dog so not a good conversationalist. Oliver isn't really either, but he does talk.
So, the weekend will be restful and hopefully inspiring as well. I was hoping to go exploring my environs this weekend, but I'll have to wait until next weekend. That works.

New beginnings

2011-09-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Emma is finally here with me and so is Oliver the bird. It is so nice to have them here. I never felt lonely, maybe that has something to do with being an only child, but I surely realized how much I missed them once I had them here. Poor Emma is still adjusting to the environment change and I'm not talking the weather. She can't go outside to bound about or poop. We take a long walk in the mornings about 45 min to an hour depending on how many times Emma has to stop anxiously while a car passes. Since our walk is solely on two country roads and one major highway she will have to adjust.
School is also going well as we all adjust to each other. It has been a very long time since I have the opportunity to work with a young assistant. Meggin is a learner and I know she will evolve as an assistant and hopefully as a teacher. She has so much knowledge I will put it to good use when and if we start the accelerated credit recovery courses. They already formulating in my brain, now I just need some training.
Going to two trainings/workshops in October, for one I have to find a kennel or sitter for Emma since I will be gone over night. Waiting anxiously for a recommendation from her old vet as to what vet to take her to. I really hate to kennel at the vet because that costs too much. But I may be stuck with it.
Payday is Friday and I am hoping I can pay my rent, cable bill, electric, and catch up on one or two bills. Car payment for sure. The others may have to wait until I don't have to pay two months rent with one month of paycheck. I hate financial stress and I hope as I catch up on bills that I can help Kelsey and the girls out. I am somewhat reluctant to do that since that will mean more cash for Matt to use for beer, something he needs to cut back on. Saturday he came close to me interferring, but I held back since the girls and Andrew were there and my Andrew was still awake. It may be something Brandon and I will have to do alone with Kelsey. My birthday weekend may the time to do just that. Have to think about it. Well off to take Emma out to pee and then stop at Safeway for something for lunch and dinner.

The end of week 2 at school and....

2011-09-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

I finally have a permanent assistant! Meggin is a certified teacher, but still looking for a permanent teaching job so I will get her for the year, I hope. I know what it is like having certification and taking an assistant position. I hope I am a good mentor for her. As a new teacher she doesn't have that bag of tricks yet, I hope I can help her to begin to fill it. Assisting in alternative school is a great job reference, shows you can work with the toughest students.
Students, I had an overfull crew on Thursday had to put three on staff computers. I also had the principal and the vp as my assistants. Highest paid assistants ever!
I will get my pay draw on the 15th, so I get to bring Emma home on Sunday! Yeah! She will force me to take walks in the mornings before I go to work and be company when I'm home. I really miss that dog. I miss Destiny too, but she is too large and I'm not sure her hips can take the trips up the stairs every day. I would definitely take her too, but each pet is $300 and that is something I can't afford. Maybe once I get caught up on bills. That is a distinct possibility. I worry about her so much. I know she would be happy here.
I miss the grandkids the most I think. Even though Lauren and Lexi drove me insane from time to time, I miss them both so much. My heart aches for Andrew, I miss the Jessie-man too, but he has so much loving flowing at him that I don't have to worry about him. Andrew has a lot loving at him too, but some of it I fear flows in other directions.
Last night I felt more at home than I have since moving here. It is sort of sad that the feeling comes on the same day I finally get full cable and Internet. Oh well, the little blessings stack up on one another.
Today is 9/11. Ten years ago today I was awakened by the radio saying that one of the two towers had been struck by an airplane. By the time I walked out to the living and turned on the TV the second plane was veering into the second tower. I sat on the ottoman, like I did when the Challenger went down, and couldn't believe what I was seeing. My 35 mile drive to work, my unofficial first day of work in Willamina, was speedier than normal. I saw one plane flying over Baskett Slough just as the radio was saying that all planes in the US were being grounded. I had the radio playing as I arranged my new classroom. Willamina really didn't do all that much collectively, some individual teachers kept the television on, but generally not much at all.
Contrast to Friday of this year, at a Pep Assembly a message was read from the Superintendent to all of the students and a brief moment of silence. I wonder what Willamina did? The Superintendent asked that teachers read a brief message to their students elaborating or editing as needed depending on the grade level.
Lots of programs on TV today commemorating the day ten years ago when the entire world changed. I ache for the survivors and the families. I can't imagine the loss. I've lost friends and family, but nothing due to an overt act by anyone.
So much tragedy has happened this summer due to the weather. Fires, floods, hurricanes things we can't control. 9/11 while a planned act, was not under our control. No matter how much some want to say we could have stopped it, hatred is hatred and therefore unpredictable.

And so week 4 begins

2011-09-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

While I am still feeling overwhelmed with just about everything, I am settling in somewhat and finding my adventure to be enlightening. I still do not have a permanent assistant, though the administration is working hard to remedy that situation. Something I am not used to. I even had one of the assistant principals assisting me last night for the last hour of school. One only one sadly, but he did give me insight into Hermiston. More than 35% of the resident are under the age of 18, 50% of the residents rent, Hermiston is the "hub" of a wheel for seasonal workers that turns through Umatilla, Walla Walla, and Pendleton. I may have got the percentages wrong, but you get the idea. Hermiston is fairly diverse place, something totally unexpected.
The AP feels that the community as a whole is fairly tolerant. I know they are friendly, but then I am white and white-haired and female.
I feel in my bones that I will retire here, well I am may retire from here and move back to Salem, but I don't plan on a move if I don't have to. Maybe out of the one bedroom apartment eventually, but I am thinking this tiny home of mine is an excellent way to catch up on my bills and maybe two or three years down the road have the funds to move into a house or duplex. I don't like the physical moving part of moving to a new home. Not one bit at all. Where is Scotty when you need him to beam things around?

Week Three and the students

2011-09-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Denise, Joseph, Matt T., Brandon, Matt C., Ryan, and Juan I am nearly settled into my apartment. I have my big-screen TV, couches, bed, and other furniture and I am feeling a bit more human. I do not miss those beanbags one iota.
Finished the first week of school this past week, much in the same way Willamina runs its schedule, Hermiston begins the week before Labor Day. Couldn't have students the first day as there were no computers up and running. But on Tuesday the first trickle began. While the cultural makeup of my new students is far different than at Willamina, the core of who they are is very similar. I had maybe two Hispanic students in Willamina, here in Hermiston the majority are Hispanic. I am going to have to expand my student library to Hispanic literature, not a huge issue, an enlightening one.
My first negative issue with a student I traced back to me. Yes, me! A student looks and somewhat acts like an adult I knew outside of school while living in Salem. Now that I have pierced that I am better able to see this new student as himself and not with the weird feeling I had initially. Thank goodness. Though there is another student, once he starts and I get to know him I am hoping his vibe, one I am all too familiar with, will slip away.
Getting a weird vibe from a student isn't all that uncommon, but I really hate to start out our relationship in the classroom with an issue. I have always prided, yes one of the seven deadlies, on my ability to rise above what the students' actions are and who the student is as a person. Separating the out of school personality with the in school personality is not as easy at it sounds and can sometimes be a dangerous thing for me and my other students. But the knowing makes the classroom climate easier to read on many levels.
Hermiston High staff continue to amaze me. They are a generous group and that is what is keeping me bright and bushy as I wait anxiously for that first paycheck and my ability to begin to catch up on bills that have been falling the wayside as the months drolled on on unemployment. I am luckier than many on unemployment I found a wonderful position only about one year after being laid off.
The scariest part is now I have rent, something I haven't had to worry for many many many years. Not being able to just repair, kill off bees, or feed the wild birds is a hard proposition for me. Pigeons are birds, but they are everywhere and I have yet to hear more than one or two song birds. Maybe that's the life here in Northern Eastern Oregon, I certainly hope not. Oh, and seagulls, do to Hermiston's close proximity to The Columbia. That is a new river to explore. I understand there are river walks to walk with Emma, once I get her here, a dam to explore, and a huge number of parks for the size of the city.
Having to drive 35 miles or so and into another state to shop at places like Target, Best Buy, etc is an annoyance. I prefer to spend my money in my home state, sigh.
Well I have droned on. Must go down and check on my laundry, another new experience for me.

First week in Hermiston

2011-08-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

So, here I am sitting on my beanbags beginning week two. Hermiston is a nice place to live. The people are very nice and what is even better they are supportive of their schools. Which means their kids and really makes the transition to this much smaller town a tiny bit easier to cope with.
Moving from a house to a one bedroom is quite an adjustment, but I am working it. I have to say of all the schools, ok I've only been to two longer than a few months, Hermiston's staff is the warmest and most supportive I have encountered. My daytime counter part, I am the teacher in the newly christened Innovative Learning Center night school, has fanagled a delivery truck to help me move the rest of my furniture and most importantly my school supplies from Salem to Hermiston this weekend.
Joseph Thornton and his wife Denise will make the drive to Salem help me load up, spend the night with his family in Vancouver, and then drive back to Hermiston on Saturday. I can't express my gratitude to Joseph and Denise more. They are two of the best examples of the people I have met here. Not that anyone I have met wouldn't be good examples. Joseph's two assistants, I still am waiting for mine to be hired, Becky and Jacky are on my list of the best assistants to work with, even though I only met them today. I have been blessed with some of the best assistants a teacher could have in my nearly 20 years of teachers. I wish one of them wanted to make the transition to the night school, but that ain't gonna happen.
Right now I am looking out my sliding glass doors to see sunshine glinting off of thick gray clouds. First rain, if it happens, that I will see since my move. I will take some pictures of my new surroundings once I am fully moved and settled in. It has been 27 years since my last move. This is hard really really hard and I have even questioned the choice I made to accept this position on more than one occassion this past week. I know that once my stuff is here I will begin to heal and recover and when I pay for Emma to come too my healing will be complete.

Susan Witting Albert

2011-07-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

So along with The Coffeehouse Mysteries and The Haunted Bookshop Mysteries I have also discovered another series written by a favorite memoirist, The China Bayles Mysteries. I was obsessed with herbs back in the 80's and 90's but I could never keep the darn things alive. Now I have one of my favorite genres to read about them too!

New book series

2011-07-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

Just found a new series to get addicted to. As well as her series under her pen name
I haven't found a copy of the first in the Haunted Bookstore Mysteries series yet, but I will.
I am fascinated that this author has found two things I find most satisfying: a coffeehouse and a bookstore. I am looking forward to reading both series.

It's been awhile

2011-07-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

It has been a very long time since I waxed on and on here. A lot has happened. On the 10th I went with Kelsey and her family and Andrew to the Marion County Fair. It is far more noisy and populated than when I used to show my sheep and horse back in the 70's. Ok, that was like 40 years ago, wow. There are rides and food and booths and the public there. We were lucky to have our own parents show up to watch us show our animals. Got my cotton candy fix by buying to huge bags and I also ended up with heat stroke or exhaustion, still trying to figure out which. I'm still having dizzy spells and that scares me, but I have no medical insurance so I will just have to endure.
Two weeks I had a phone interview with a person from Lincoln ESD about a position for an Outreach Worker. A job I am way over qualified for, but one that would fit nicely with how I want my career path to evolve. Haven't heard back yet, so I guess my saying I wouldn't move to Toledo until I felt secure in the job was the wrong thing to say. I think that is one of my problems in interviews, being too honest. We'll see, I have an interview in Hermiston next Friday. What really scares me is them offering me the job, but not being able to find a place to rent. With my crappy credit and at least one dog I'm probably not a good risk for someone that has a place to rent.
Went to EZ today and bought cherries, boysenberries, blueberries, and veggies. Went yesterday but I made an error with my credit card so couldn't pick up anything yummy.
Oh, almost forgot I did make Molly's shortcake and it was wonderful. Still have six frozen in the freezer, maybe boysenberry shortcake. It's actually more of a sweet biscuit, but it is wonderful and very easy to make. Ease is what I look for.
Watching Masterchef and there are only a few true home cooks left. Anyone who knows how to cook truffles is more than a home cook in my mind, but luckily I am not in charge. As I watch them cook in the initial episodes I think about my "signature" dishes and whether I could pull them off in public without my family as the judges. They want main dishes, not sides or desserts. What would I cook? What would you cook? Have to think about it.

Recent events

2011-07-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well the last time I tried to post I got an error message. I hope today is going to work out better for me. Tonight I am fixing a grilled chicken salad. Grilling a chicken breast, boiling some eggs to chop and add to the salad, Roma tomatoes, an avocado, sunflower seeds, and the salad mix from EZ Orchards. Oh and green onions. Should be tasty.
Matt and the girls are outside filling up water balloons, well Matt is filling and Lauren is breaking them as fast as he is filling. I do believe by his tone of voice that he will stop filling up balloons very soon if Lauren doesn't stop breaking them all.
Still job hunting, nothing much this week, last week was way more fruitful. Must have three every week and so far I am meeting that goal. Though I have to apply for some jobs I am marginally qualified for. Though those jobs hurt far less than when I get rejected than the ones I am over qualified for.
Back to the salad, Kelsey bought some nasty frozen chicken breasts and I am hoping that they will taste a bit better grilled, I am hopeful. The veggies I just bought at the EZ stand and they are all fresh, so that part will be very good and tasty. Then some fresh strawberries for dessert. If I am motivated maybe I will make some shortcake. I'll use Molly Wizenberg's chosen recipe from her blog this week.
I can smell the roses I picked yesterday, mmmmm, they are wafting aromatically over here because of the breeze. Smell like raspberries.

Dinner

2011-06-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

I did defrost a chicken breast, but I decided that I would make the Mo's Chowder Kelsey bought and have a side salad to go with it. The chowder, of course, was wonderful always use the half and half it makes the chowder so much more rich and tasty. I bought salad greens yesterday at EZ Orchards, not sure what all was in the mix, just that it is 6.95 a pound and I bought 1.23 worth, and while a bit wilty it was good with the Romas, croutons, sunflower seeds, almond slices and the Mediterranean vinegarette I also bought at EZ. Still too afraid to make my own vineagarette. Also I can't spell it so that sort of means I should refrain from making it for the time being. But dinner was good, appetizer was peanut butter on soda crackers, you must love my sophistication.
Going to start The Walking Dead on DVD tonight I didn't discover it until the end of the season so my anal OCD requires me to watch the entire season hopefully before the new season starts. I like weird shows like that and it makes me want BBC America even more. Of course my lame cable company which was bought by Wave Cable still hasn't added anything new, like BBC America, yet and that is tre` annoying.

A beautiful day

2011-06-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

And as near perfect as we get here in the summer. Ok, it really isn't summer yet, Tuesday is when summer starts. I am currently three books and I am discovering what used to frustrate me in college, voice. Slipping from one book to another it takes about three pages for me to feel the voice of the writer, so then I have to reread what I just read and well it is taking me a long time to get through these three books. One of them, A Homemade Life, I've been reading since the beginning of May. It is taking me so long because I stop and try some of the recipes as I am reading. Wizenberg's voice is so different from Mary Gordon's and both far far different than Anne McCaffery's. AM is of course writing fiction and the other two memoir, so I guess it makes some kind of sense. I have only gotten two pages into Seeing Through Places by Mary Gordon, and I am reading all the comments by my fellow reading circle friends, and I am thinking Catholic, Place not so sure this will be a good time for me. I am so ambivalent about my Catholic history that I'm not sure I can parse out the actual me from the me I remember. I spent six years in Catholic School and about every school day was partially spent in church. I somehow convinced my parents to let me go to the public junior high school and I think that was a good thing for me.
Place is one of those things that has been near and dear to me for a time. I hope Gordon enlightens me to a sense of Place.
With the nice weather comes the need to pick up the dog poo in the yard. In the winter you can ignore it, but in the summer you have to pick the damn stuff up or the kids run through it, or worse you step in it. It also sticks to the lawnmower tires and that is gross and smelly. So why am waxing on about it? Because the scooper I have had for five years has given up the ghost and I have to buy a new one. Worse I just plunked down 200 dollars for a lamp for my TV. So money is super tight. This is lamp number five for my six year old TV, the service place says they only last 4 to 5 thousand hours! I just bought one last June, so one a year seems to be the norm. Truly a racket of Toshiba's if you ask me, I mean really? Ok, I watch too much TV, but anyway, and they only give a three month warranty, this one will probably go at three months and one day.
I must figure out something for dinner. Molly's recipes make my stomach growl, but some of the ingredients are bit on the spendy side and I don't know what creme frasche is or how to spell it. And what the heck is Kirsh anyway? The glazed oranges over pound cake, ok I bought the pound cake, was yummy. Andrew is not a fan, but I am going to try the same recipe with lemons and again purchase the pound cake. Off to thaw a couple of chicken breasts to BBQ and then slice for salad. Again, store bought vingarette first and then Molly's. Need avocado though.

Another beautiful day

2011-06-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, it isn't a perfect day because it is a bit on the muggy side. But the fact that I don't have to wear coat or make sure I have a coat with me when I left my house is as close as you can get to perfect in my book. Also, with the crazy weather here, beggars can't be choosers so I will revel each time the rain stays away. Hopefully, I won't have to be wishing for rain later in the summer. Getting water from a well, I have to worry some when the rain stays away for long periods.
I am at the library today and I think they turned the heat up, or it could be that I am on the top floor and all the heat is rising. I chose a noisy place to plug in the laptop, near the children's section, but hopefully the noisy children that were here the other day aren't here today.
I've been thinking about dinner, the only meal I actually try to cook for. Usually just for myself, which is boring, but I get used to it. Kelsey is going to cook Tacos for dinner and feel more like BBQ. So for meat game hen cooked beer can style or rib eye, sweet onion, and I am thinking asparagus. May even try to grill the asparagus since Kelsey will be at the stove.
I have been doing some very minor research for the book that is always floating around in my head. I like research, wish I could find a job that would pay me to research.
So, I have discovered why no one tells parents to shut up their kids, the freaking staff are extremely noisy and they even have a door to close, but they don't close it. There is also a group of ladies who are cackling with one another at a table around the corner. Why am I doing this running commentary of what aggrieves me when I am at the library? Because I came here to get away from the noise. So now there is a little kid being semi-loud and the parent isn't saying a thing even with me sitting here. Oh the cackling ladies are leaving and they are hugging and cackling as they go...
The noise level here is one of those things that amazes me. I mean when I was little the librarian would have kicked us the hell out of the library for being so noisy. I love Bill Mahr, the whole we have fallen over the edge about being PC about everything really is resounding with me today. I wish I could think up a good "New Rule" to send in about libraries, though the one here in Salem is the only one I have any experience with.
Well, eventually I will think of something amazing to say and people will actually read my blog. One mom is really trying to get her child to be quiet. That's nice.

Finally Sunshine

2011-06-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

It is a beautiful day and it is supposed to be nice for at least two days. This weather is really strange lately. Yesterday the clouds were absolutely amazing! Huge thunder clouds with dark gray clouds behind them. It was amazing.
Andrew and I went to two of the three National Wildlife Refuges in the Valley on Monday and we had a great time, well other than my old knees. Ankeny and William Finley. We had already spent the day at the third one Baskett Slough, two weeks before.

Baskett Slough

Ankeny Hill

William Finley

Restored, somewhat

2011-05-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

I knew coming to the library would restore a bit of myself. Started Crystal Singer by Anne Mccaffrey and found a quote that sort of applies "Then she realized her despondency was merely self-pity...." Self-pity is one of those things that you find yourself in and then have to struggle back out of. Yes, I think a part of my depression is self-pity and poor poor me attitude, there is also just the general anger with family that I really can't do anything about.
I purposely don't pick up after the girls or Kelsey or Matt for that matter. Though I have to do the dishes, which usually requires doing theirs as well. I also from time to time have to do their laundry because Kelsey always starts it, but rarely ever finishes it. I don't like doing laundry either, which is why I do it each time I have a full load. Kelsey, of course, has a full load nearly daily and that's a bummer, but if she did one load each day that's all she would be doing and not up to ten loads in one day. When that happens she, of course, over fills the washer and is probably wearing it out twice as fast as she would if she would do one nearly full load a day. When I suggest it, she gets angry with me.
I would have to say that being the library actually does restore me. Whether it is because I am just getting out of the house or because the relaxed atmosphere actually does restore me. Well the time is about run out on my parking meter so I have to go. Back at it later, I hope.

What if...

2011-05-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

What if I had all the money I ever wanted? That is such a crazy thing to say, don't you think? I want a good job that pays me a good salary and I want more than anything to pay off all off all of my bills. To be debt free that is what I want.
At this point in my life, I'm not so sure I want to be a teacher anymore. I so love working with students, but I am not sure that teaching is the best way for me to advocate for students. But nonprofits aren't hiring and I don't have any experience doing anything other than teaching, so I'm not sure what I can do to make money. I can't stand being on unemployment, I did the whole on the public dole thing back when I was first divorced and I don't like it.
Speaking of being divorced, my ex will be in town tomorrow for his mother's memorial. It is so weird neither of them have lived in Salem for over 10 years so the whole memorial here in Salem is sorta weird on one level. I don't think they even have family here, oh almost forgot she's a crum, female member of the Masons, I have no idea what the female organization is called. Anyway, my son said he told his dad they could go to a bar and have a beer, but that he didn't want him at his house. Well, he didn't tell him that last part, that's what he told me after I said I was so over his dad. To keep a grudge that long, wait his sister still has one, she has it bad. But then she was only 1 when we divorced so no love lost there.
Home alone for a bit as Kelsey, Matt and the girls are going to spend time with his parents for a little bit. Which is annoying since I need help with the electric and phone bills and she didn't leave any money with me to help me out. It is starting to get really really annoying, more than that I am angry and what can I do? I won't kick them out, but shit my electric bill is twice what it would be if I was here alone, actually probably three times as much. They do tons of laundry, which brings up the other point that she used the last of it and didn't buy any more so now I have to do it.
She does help out with the food and that is one thing I don't have to worry about.
Didn't go to Andrew's second to last music program tonight. I feel really bad, but it is so hard just to get out of the house when I feel so angry about Kelsey and so depressed about not having money. Oh and top it all off Matt comes in says he's taking Sabby, their dog, and promptly takes the only dog shampoo in the house, that I bought, then gets some dogfood, which I also bought, I am really not doing well today. I shall stop writing now before I decide to go shoot myself in the fucking head.

Family and ...

2011-05-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

In the background Kelsey, Matt, and the girls are eating spaghetti. I am still feeling funky from my steak and egg lunch. I am trying to eat a big lunch and a lighter dinner in an attempt to work off calories. Not that I exercise or anything, but maybe it will help a bit. Every bit helps. I would very much like to go to the park and walk every day, but right now I can't afford the gas. Two bills are behind by a month and I'm not sure when I will be able to catch them up if Kelsey and Matt don't start helping me with the household bills. I hate to ask them, maybe that is one of the things that is depressing me.
Anyway, unemployment does not allow you any kind of wiggle room what so ever. If I could get Kelsey to go shopping, that is one they help me out as they get food stamps so adding the things I need doesn't hurt them, anyway again, Kelsey hates to grocery shop, as do I, but I do like browsing when I get there and Kelsey hates that. I always have list via a blackberry app called OurGroceries so I know what I want. I try to have one new recipe to try. I just read Molly Wizenberg's blog Orangette and I may have more than one recipe this week if I can get Kelsey to the darn store. You should check out her blog which is on the left side of my blog.
I am so pumped to watch Jesse Stone tonight. I love Tom Selleck. Sighing deeply, what a hunk.

What is it like to be depressed?

2011-05-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

I've always wondered what it is like to be depressed. I see the ads on TV for this or that product or this or that "clinical study." But I think I am depressed. I am tired all of the time and I can't blame it all on starting on Zyrtec this week. What the generic Wal Zyr did was to take away the nearly debilitation headaches I had been experiencing for about a month. Two days after starting the Wal Zyr my headaches were gone and I felt better. Unfortunately the warning for drowsiness was fairly accurate. But I am hoping that my body will adjust and the drowsiness will diminish. Or, I guess it will back to Allegra, well the generic Allegra. Man not having health really does suck.
Walgreens has a nifty prescription card that helps pay for medications and that's cool. My high blood pressure meds are not all that expensive, but the prescription generic Allegra is crazy high, like over $40 for 30 pills. So it is to over the counter I go back to. I guess what scares me, and maybe that is what is depressing, is that I am not feeling well, but I can't afford to go to the doctor to figure out what it is. Like so many others in my situation, I have to just bull through it and hope it goes away on its own.

Inspired by another writer in my writing circle

2011-05-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Pat I may be inspired to write more, write to my grandkids from time to time.

Dear Andrew, Jesse, Lauren, and Alexis

On this Mother's Day I must write a short note to the four of you. You all mean so much to me, I am blessed that I get to see you all nearly every day. The boys not so much as my girls, but I so enjoy every moment with all of you. Remember to have fun every day and hug something, even if it one of your many animals. They count too, and sometimes may need that hug more than humans do from time to time.

Love Grammy

Googling yourself

2011-05-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

So, I bet you really haven't tried to Google Earth yourself. No I mean really, looking back into your life and seeing yourself. I just submitted my first attempt at Google Earth of myself to the Story Circle Network. I am thinking of doing an ongoing Google of myself and my life as a way to put down my life into words.
The following is what I first wrote, I had to edit for Story Circle, but my original writing is here for you to look at.

If I were to Google Earth myself what would I see?

Would I see myself sitting here at my computer?

Would I see my house surrounded by fields and a small patch of forest?

Would I see Salem, Oregon bisected by I5 sitting along the Willamette River?

Would I see Washington state to the north, Idaho to the East, California to the South and the Pacific to the West?

What would I see?

If I were to Google Earth my family what would I see?

Would I see the birth of my parents one born in Bottineau, North Dakota the other in Leland, Oregon?

Would I see them meet and then marry in Seattle, Washington?

Would I see them move west from Missouri to Oregon by car just after the end of WW II?

Would I see their first home on Dearborn Ave in Keizer?

Would I see them journey to Portland, Oregon to St Vincent's Hospital to adopt me?

What would I see?

If I were to Google Earth my family what would I see?

Would I see my children grow up and drift away and then drift back?

What would I see?

If I were to Google Earth my family what would I see?

Would I see my first grandson being born with a cleft palate, before I knew he was my grandson?

Would I see my second grandson being born looking so much like his mother and nothing like his father, my son?

Would I see my two grandsons walking down the lane with my father between them, finally accepting them?

Would I see my daughter on the phone to me saying, "Mom I have something to tell you," and me knowing right away she was pregnant with grandchild number three, the first girl?

Would I see my second granddaughter being born, like her older sister, by c-section, like her mother and her uncle?

What would I see?

If I were to Google Earth myself, what would I see?

By Lisa Chretien, April 2011

Queen of Tarts

2011-05-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot! After my last blogging session I went down to Queen of Tarts for some yummy soup and I had the most divine soup, Italian Wedding Soup, it was great even though I got the dregs which for soup I think is the best part. I missed the meatballs that are part of the soup, but the pearl pasta stuff was great and the broth tasty and bit spicy, just the way I like it.
So if you live in Salem and are near the City Center, that would be where City Hall and the Library are not the actual center, anyway stop by Queen of Tarts, not only do they have yummy yummy soup, but pastries too. I could do without the canned pop, but make do because the soups are so darn yum yum yummy.

A Homemade Life

2011-05-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

I am still enjoying the memoir and it is taking me longer than normal because I keep stopping to cook some of the recipes. I am also discovering that my forthcoming interviews are squilching my brain. I'm making dumb mistakes about things I have read and actually publicizing my dumbness by talking about them in my reading circle. Sigh... Today there was talk of roasting beets and I said Molly had written on her blog about beets, but it was radishes. Sigh... I guess getting two of my not fond of veggies isn't a sin, but it really drives me nuts when I'm not accurate.
I want to go out and buy veggies, but I have to save what little money I have to travel to Gold Beach which is five hours from Salem. Gas is getting crazy. Gold Beach interview on Thursday and then Newport on Friday. I wish gas was cheaper then I could commute to Newport, well if I got the job there. I'd still have to move close to Gold Beach. Which, I am finding out is going to be a problem as it is a tourist destination so there aren't many, if any, affordable rentals in the area. Ah well, I guess I have to get the job offer first now don't I? Not sure about being a Child Protective Services Worker. You'd like to think the job is saving kids and is in their best interests, but my personal experience is much the opposite.
The day is beautiful and I have things to do. Hopefully, I will back later as I have some things niggling at my stressed out brain to come out.

My stomach's grumbling or growling take your pick

2011-04-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

So, I found the blog and I really like Molly's writing style. Oh and there is a recipe for braising radishes, I loathe radishes. But on the bottom of the library is Queen of Tarts a bistro and the lunch smells are wafting up here. Grumble goes my stomach because the last time I was there I had a wonderful vegetable chicken soup, my first soup there was cheesey potato or something and it was wonderful too.
Must go check out my book, feed the meter, then see what soup is on the menu today. Oh and unload the 'puter in the FJ.
Remember how I said the library is noisy? Well I'm sitting here and there are two young men arguing about something. Interesting to hear the snippets. But it's the librarian in her open-doored office who I can also hear and that seems a bit odd to me. Don't care if it is lunch time or not.
Be sure to visit Molly's blog @www.orangette.blogspot.com she has yummy recipes on there, other than the radish one of course ;-)

At the Library

2011-04-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

On my laptop at the Library and I am ... I guess livid is the word. I haven't been on my laptop for a few weeks and maybe the last time I was I didn't notice, but Kelsey and Matt have loaded stuff on it that I do not want, like Safari, though I think that is Kelsey because she is always in a hurry and just clicks shit to get it out of her way. The games take a lot of space, but not a huge deal, but making MSN the homepage on Firefox is a big deal. Again because she clicks to get things out of her way, much like Lauren does. Lauren who is four and shouldn't be fucking with my computers in the first place without someone sitting with her and watching her. You have to sit with her, because she just clicks merrily away and has up to ten windows open for the same game at the same time.
Ahhh, that felt better.
I totally forgot to check the time when I plopped money in the meter, I think I got here at 11 so I have about an hour and a half until I have either feed the meter, which would be a total pain because I have to pack up everything and walk out to the parking lot.
The library is a noisy place/space. Interesting since I thought it was supposed to be quiet space. But oh well. I got the next book for my reading circle, A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg. Probably will buy it on my Kindle as it has recipes and I think she may be close to my heart. Funny how many of the books we have read so far, well when I started, have really touched my heart. I've talked about them before so I won't do it here. I have just read the book jacket and already I know I will get it for my Kindle.

So I'm recommending it before I even get into the meat of it! Molly also has a blog www.orangette.blogspot.com
I'll be adding the blog to my list shortly. Not that it really matters as no one reads my blog, but just in case.

Spring is nearly here, I think so going through my cupboards

2011-04-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day today! Kids played outside and Andrew tagged up one of the dining trays with, "I <3 Remi." So cute, hopefully his parents don't make too much fun of him. But it was really cute.
Went through my cupboards, they look well stocked

but most of it is junk food. Gotta love my daughter. Lots and lots of cereal, I do love cereal. But nothing really to cook a meal with on the fly. My other cupboards coming up later this week. Trying a new drink V8 Fusion berry pomegranate. I love pomegranates! Lots of packaging in that cupboard, Amy would not be pleased with me. Check out Amy's blog on how to go green, thegreengarbageproject.com. The link to her blog is on the left. Take a gander at the books I'm reading right now. The widget, Shelfari is really cool and easy to put on your blog.
I feel as if my blog no longer is about the Suburban Omnivore. I don't talk about food enough, so I am going to try and change that. Hence, the cupboard pictures. Sort of a way for me to see what I have and what I may need. I would love to be more like my friend and former colleague Amy Korst, who lives the green life. But it is so much work and well while I love working, becoming more green is a process for me. I'm doing better, I recycle with the mixed recycling bin and I return my beer bottles for cash, ok not religiously, but I do eventually get them to the bottle return. The pop and beer cans get put in the mixed recycling, though I think Matt's broken truck is nearly full of plastic, sorry Amy, garbage bags of pop and beer cans. That is about it for the recycling. It certainly does cut down on the amount trash we generate, though I have to admit that I do throw into the trash far too many half eaten yogurt cups. I sometimes actually rinse them out, but usually not so much.
As spring gets herself into gear, I'll do more foraging. Still trying to figure out if I am going to cook some dandelion greens. One of the facebook pages I follow has a recipe, may try it. I've got dandelions all over the damn place so I think I could gather up enough for something. Most of my foraging will of course be at the local fruit and vegetable stands. I will be traveling down the coast at the beginning of May for a job interview and I am going to try and find some new places.

End of the day

2011-04-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

A fairly relaxing day. Made a late late brunch for Andrew and Lauren, eggs, toast, fried potatoes (or taters as Lauren calls them), and bacon.
Andrew and Lauren played ok today. Andrew is becoming a tween and is forgetting that Lauren is only four, so he must be reminded from time to time.
Meagan made me so angry today, I always hold my tongue because I never know if its the big M raising it's head or just me. So, she calls and asks if Andrew wants to come down to see two of their (Brandon and Meagan) friends. Andrew lounging on his bed watching toons with Lauren says no. I say to Meagan give me a minute I'll talk to him and she says back to me, No! We're leaving! I come to find out that Jesse was there and the kids of their friends. She never said that to me. So, what do they do? They go have a great fun day and end it at the pizza parlor playing laser tag. As you can all see I am still angry, which gives weight to the big M, more than me. Though I can hold a grudge for a very long time.
I am just so angry. It is as if she really didn't want him to come along and kept the fun stuff to herself knowing he'd rather stay with me and play with Lauren. A cleansing breath does help. I know for Meagan it is a balancing act, because Andrew is her step-son. Jesse never comes down here for the weekend or even just over night. Of course, Andrew doesn't ever go to his step-grandparents overnight either. Part of that is because Andrew lived with me for nearly a year when he was little. Andrew doesn't have the rich grandparent unfortunately for him, but he does have his own room here though Lauren has sort of taken it over. I worry about him far more than I worry about Jesse and that really bothers me, really really bothers me. I love them both so much.

Tax day

2011-04-16T10:52:00.000-07:00

I must complete my taxes this weekend. I have waited until the last minute since I have had to pay my taxes. No reason to get them done in January when I'm not getting any money back right?
This year is going to be very very hard to pay those taxes. My unemployment doesn't even allow me to pay my regular bills, how am I going to pay the two to three hundred in taxes to the state and irs? Any time you pay them in installments you have to pay interest. I wonder if the grand Congress will ever get around to reforming that? They can't agree on a general budget. That is what scares me more, the cuts they want to make. The Pentagon gets a raise and the rest of the us who are struggling are losing even services. The soldiers are the only ones who deserve any kind of raise. Married a soldier a lifetime ago and the pay then was sad and should have embarrassed Congress. I am guessing it is still embarrassing. The men and women who defend us, rightly or wrongly, they are doing their jobs what they have been ordered to do and should get paid accordingly. Ever been on an service base? Again, a lifetime ago, I lived on one. The every day soldier got the ghetto housing and the officers got the middle class housing. At least at Ft Lewis, now called umm, Ft Lewis McCord Joint Base, not sure of the spelling or which goes first. Just as my divorce was getting going the housing situation began to upgrade a bit. Nice housing, again dependent upon your rank. Remember rank has its privileges.
The debate about bases goes on and on. Personally I don't think we should be in Korea, Japan, Germany, etc. We should upgrade our bases at home and maybe reopen a few, but we shouldn't have permanent bases outside the US. I so do not want to be in the same group as Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity. Trump or Palin either for that matter. But if I have to then for this opinion, I will hold my nose and tongue.
Currently, I am watching a documentary on HBO about guns. I don't particularly like guns, they are loud and they kill living things. I am not against hunting. I am not particularly against open carry either. I am not against handguns or rifles. What I am against is automatic weapons for anyone except police or military, well and only when any of them are on duty. Automatic weapons are here for only one reason and that is to kill people. Any idiot who says that they need an automatic weapon to go hunting is an idiot. Did I say they were idiots? Only idiots want to shoot something that can't shoot back with an automatic weapon. The NRA is always quick to say that the mass shootings are acts committed by criminals. But how did the criminals get the guns in the first place? Oh that's right from other criminals or from gun shows where the private citizen can sell anything to anyone.

Lazy days and Thursdays

2011-04-07T17:32:00.000-07:00

I sometimes think I must disassociate or something. It's already after 5pm and while I remember the time ticking away, it seems to have gone by so very quickly. I actually accomplished a lot today, well job search-wise anyway.
I sort of have a system one day I search through edzapp, which is the open teacher jobs website, and then the government open jobs. Well, Marion County, Salem, and the state of Oregon. Switch back and forth on alternating days.
Got a letter from the Employment Department telling me to come and discuss, "your current work search, your reemployment prospects and other job search activities." If I don't attend the meeting I could lose my benefits. Right I've been looking for five weeks and they think, what? What exactly do they think? Do they make all those who are getting the extended benefits prove they are actually, wait, "actively," looking for a job? I probably spend each day looking for work. It isn't like I'm getting this money, a huge sum, for just sitting around and doing nothing to look for a job.
I have never been without a job, ok when I was married and when I was going to college, but I haven't been on the public dole since my kids were little and I was forbidden to go to college. It is all very surreal to me.
There are probably people out there who are just filling out the form each week and not actually looking for work, but how many are out there? I've even applied to jobs outside of education, but still nothing.
I am struggling to pay my bills, no way would I not want a job so that I can relax just a bit.
The next huge question of the day? What to have for dinner? Sigh...

Other blogs

2011-04-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Just tip toed through some other blogs and I am wishing I was more creative. Maybe I am and just don't know it. I've added two to follow. As usual I am likely talking to myself, but coming here and writing is making me feel lighter. Does that make sense? It is a way to unburden myself maybe? Get that chip or monkey off and onto paper, er... cyberspace. I think it is probably time to talk about books I am reading or have read recently. Chosen by a Horse by Susan Richards is a must read for horse people.
I'm getting ready to read Shimmering Images by Lisa Norton. Not a memoir but a how to memoir book. Waiting for it to arrive at the library, if it's good I will buy it for my kindle.
I love my kindle. I also love reading paper books too, but the kindle is so dang handy to just drop in my purse or computer bag and take with me. I think there are about 100 books on it right now, some I got for .99! That was a bad day, bought about ten of them for .99 to about 1.99. I think my last purchase, for more than 1.99, was Tears of a Clown I really don't like Glenn Beck, and Dana Milbank does a fairly even-handed job of describing Beck. Well, I think it's even-handed, so being a Beck disliker, I don't hate too many people, so disliker is better for me. Anyway my opinion is obviously coming from a person who thinks Beck is an idiot. The sad thing is, he doesn't fit the idiot profile because he is on TV with his own show and making bank.
Other books on my kindle Another cool thing about the kindle is that you can download samples of the books you may want to purchase for free. For me that is great, because I am stuck with books I thought would be good, but aren't. My strategy is to download a sample and then if I like it check it out of the library. Then if I can't put it down and want to keep a copy for myself buy it. Convoluted yes, but it works for me and since I am still unemployed gives me something semi-productive to do. Unemployment annoyances are for another posting.

Dogs

2011-04-04T12:21:00.000-07:00

I had ribs last night and so rib bones. The dogs love them bones, they do they do. This morning I had to lock Destiny and Trixie in their rooms so the little dogs, Sabby and Emma, could munch. Emma gets a bit possessive, but Sabby is a good boy and just goes and hides until he has stripped the bone of its yummy bits. Now I have naked rib bones laying on the living room carpet. It is a good thing that Lexi is not here because I am thinking she would chewing on those bones too.
Lexi and her family left me alone to go house sit for the other grandparents. I miss them terribly. My beautiful girls on their mom's birthday.

Wave Cable

2011-04-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

While I had issues with my previous Internet and Cable provider, Country Cable, I am having more issues with Wave Cable. I have had a number of problems since the take over was announced with the service. On the 18th the cable was skipping and the Internet was working fine. On the 31st I lost single for four channels. Yesterday first my Internet went out and then Showtime and TMC channels went out. I called on each of those occassions and got a person out here only once. The excuse I keep getting is that, "We haven't switched all the way over, blah blah, yada yada." Well if you weren't ready to switch over I guess you shouldn't have fired all the Country Cable service guys. They weren't the most notable of service personnel, but they at least called and asked if there was still a problem. I have gotten zero, yes ZERO, call backs from Wave Cable. I shall say it again ZERO call backs.
I am sick of their excuses. It isn't the call peoples issue, it is a Wave Cable issue. If they didn't have the man or woman power to accomplish the takeover then it shouldn't have happened with no backup plan for servicing Country Cable customers.
I guess we'll see. I have already made my annoyance known to people around my neighborhood who don't have all the services that Wave Cable will be offering. They are all second guessing whether to drop their satellite coverage for Wave Cable.
Customer satisfaction should be number one, I would hate to think that I am the only one who is not getting the service I need.

connectivity

2011-04-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

Wave cable has taken over my current provider of tv and internet. service is not too good yet.

April Fools Day

2011-04-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

I wonder who thought this one up? Prank people and then say, "April Fools!" as if that makes it all better. Granted, most of them are harmless annoyances. Like when the students plastic wrapped their teacher's desk when I was student teaching, or students in Willamina doing silly things to the teachers' rooms. The condoms on the doorknobs went a bit too far, but still harmless.
I always played at least one on my kids as they were growing up. You'd have thought they would have figured it out, but even when they said, "Yeah sure." I always said, "No really! Look." It was always a creature of some kind out in the pasture, a horse or wild animal. We've always had deer wandering about and fox and blue herons. So I would say something fantastic and they would believe. But that is because they were kids, innocent and willing to accept the fantastic and even miraculous.
I just completed listening to an audiobook by Dean Koontz What the Night Knows. Horrifyingly weird, as all of his books are, but there was one scene where the protagonist is talking to a defrocked priest about the malevolent presence in his house and asks the man for help. He declines and then says that perhaps God has pulled himself back from us and manifests only in those of pure innocence like animals and children. This is a theme of Koontz', but one that I tend to hold myself. I am not a religious person. I do believe in heaven and hell, 12 years of going to church can do that to you. But that there is evil in the world and that it can manipulated by something other worldly, totally can wrap my head around it. As I can wrap my head around the miraculous. My only experience with it, is when my son Brandon was born.
He was a big baby and my contractions were minor, but when I had contractions his heart rate would go down. This scared me. When it was decided that I was going to have a C-section I was given a spinal. As the doctor began to cut into me I said I could feel it, he said no you can't, so I wiggled my right foot. I got a general, though I was awake. When they completed the incision and reached in for him this is what I heard, "Wait. One, two three loops of cord around his neck." The doctor looked at me, "Someone was looking out for you two." "If we had let you do it naturally we might have lost him." Many would say it was the doctors reading the fetal monitor. But my response is, why didn't my contractions get harder? Why didn't I dialate? My body knew, at that moment in time my body was an innocent like an animal or child free to just accept. Sounds lame even to me, but I know that something stepped in and saved my son from death or a dibilitating handicap.
So on this April Fool's Day, I say a truth and if you don't believe then it is you who are the fool.

Facebook

2011-03-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

Facebook has gotten some bad publicity this week. From the totally stupid, that it causes depression, to the creepy, a guy from Wilsonville, OR only a half hour from where I sit right now, that is "hooking up" with teenage girls. He has been arrested twice in five days, the last time because he is an idiot and gave new information to the Channel Two News after his release that got him rearrested. Idiot.
But, I must wax on, since this is my blog and I can do what I want for as long as I want. Nobody reads it anyway so here goes.
Facebook can do some cool things, like connect me up with friends from elementary and tween years, friends who I really missed I discovered after finding them. Interestingly, probably my most bestest friend during those years was Cheri. She probably never knew it, but I truly loved her. We met again, not on facebook, but at a union meeting. She is teaching at the Oregon School for the Deaf. Which makes total sense since her parents taught there. I remember going to a football game with her and it amazed me, totally amazed me. I wish I had taken more of an interest in sign language back then. But I was a dumb kid and we all do dumb things. I also wiffled on my paternal grandmother teaching me French when I probably could have learned it. Oh well.
Found some cousins again too. Richardsons don't take this the wrong way if you read this, but my dad's side of the family is the warmest loving family anyone could hope for and we lost touch. We had the bestest family Christmases ever. Fun, warm, loving, and totally crazy. My cousins, all I called uncle or aunt until I realized we were cousins, were older and had children of their own near to my age. I was the youngest cousin, but the oldest second cousin. There are scads of them scattered about and I really miss them. I miss that my children and grandchildren don't have those Christmases. Our family Christmases sort of suck eggs. Well for me anyway, actually all the holidays suck for me. As a family we never get together on the actual holiday day, they have their spouses families and spend those days with them. My parents would say, "What goes around comes around." They resented me and my husband spending holidays with his family. It didn't matter that they, at least, had each other on those days. They expected those days to be reserved for them, ok I overstate, my mother expected it. But my mother is a whole other story.
Anyway, I totally got off the Facebook thing. I have virtually met people all over the world due to the facebook games I play. I worried along with a gamer friend about his mother who lives in New Zealand during the aftermath of the quake. The first time, that I can recall, actually having any kind of connection with such a tragedy.
My gamer friends also make me chuckle and even cry on a daily basis. They make me think and we even debate about things from time to time.
I have virtual connection to my former students, who I still worry about, I cringe at some of their posts, laugh and cry at more of them. I now worry about my female students the most, sexist of me I know, though it is probably the predators that should be worried about them. They are all strong women in their own ways, and have some vulnerabilities too.
I have waxed on and on and on. There is a lot more in my little brain, but I will stop for now.

Berries, Yum

2011-03-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake of stopping at Bauman Farms for some apples and ended up buying three bags of berries. Marionberries, Boysenberries, and Loganberries. I love berries and my black thumb does not allow me to cultivate them. I do have two nice wild blackberry bushes in the backyard, but I think I'm killing them too. An incidious foreigner that is hard to kill, but I think I am doing it.
I made a berry pie, following the directions exactly from Emerile Lagasse and the pie was way to juicy. Yummy but too juicy, I think it is because the berries are frozen so I am going to try no water the next time. Maybe today, if I get myself motivated.
I am totally bummed about Pipeline Porter only being available until March. I did buy a six pack of their Koko Brown, which instead of coffee uses coconut. I don't like coconut, but I thought, "What the heck." Well I still don't like coconut, but the ale is ok. I won't buy a second six pack, but if you like coconut it is the ale for you. I'll have to go back to the lighter Longboard. Alex O'Loughlin on Hawaii Five-O drinks it on the show. He is a looker, he is. Too bad I could be his mom, it really sucks.

Found a new brew...

2011-03-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

So, I bought a six pack of Pipeline Porter last week. It was wonderful. I went to the website, of course, http://www.konabrewingco.com/beers/pipeline-porter, and I found out it is only available through March. Or up until March, I can't tell. Pipeline Porter is a wonderful smooth porter, with a coffee blend. Two of my favorite drinks in one, nirvana. From their website: This celebration of malt unites with freshly roasted 100% Kona coffee grown at Cornwell Estate on Hawaii’s Big Island, lending a unique roasted aroma and flavor. A delicate blend of hops rounds out this palate-pleasing brew.
Interestingly I even cooked a pot roast for the family dinner on Sunday and used this porter as the liquid. On the website it says one of the food pairings is pot roast! Never could figure out how to pair wine, but looks like I'm on a good turn with ale.

Scary stuff

2011-03-14T23:10:00.000-07:00

The earthquake and tsunami in Japan and now a nuclear scare. The news says the financial index in Japan is down, which pragmatically makes sense to me. I sort of wonder why they think that is news. Why wouldn't Japanese stocks be down? Oh and maybe you should buy stock in iodine with all the people freaking out here in Oregon and buying out the iodine stuff available.
I guess I worry about the radiation, but not so much I am going to change my routine or run down to Walgreens and put my name on a list to get the iodine or iodide or whatever it is. I am guessing some unscrupulous entreprenuers will start selling it on street corners for 100 times the price. You laugh, but just watch in a week or so your email inbox is going to filled with ways to prevent radiation sickness. Just watch.
Got my very first ever unemployment check. The people at the jobs office seemed amazed, why would anyone be amazed that I've had a job, been a mom, or been school and I have never been on unemployment before? It's weird. And it is very degrading, in my opinion. I am glad for the money, pittance though it is, but it doesn't make feel good. Especially when I can't seem to find a job. I got a call from a job I applied for about four months ago, with HOST, but the job is on call graveyard shift and wandering around Salem at night alone, is not something I feel I can do. Sure I applied for it four months ago, but that was when I had an actual paycheck. The position is on call and if I get called unemployment deducts what I get paid from the amount I get every week.
I'm not sure how I am going to pay my bills. Monthly it is about 30% of what my paycheck has been. Not sure how I'm going to pay bills. The bills, other than the utilities, were made when I made 70% more money. I just don't know what I am going to do.

The new stove is finally here....

2011-02-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

While I am still annoyed at Home Depot for making me wait so long for my stove, I must compliment the delivery guys. They were prompt and they were friendly and quick. Got the old stove out, man was it dirty underneath it, and the new one in pretty quickly.
Cooked in a real stove for the first time in about a year and a half. Broiled some chicken wings which I sloshed in butter and lemon juice and salted nicely with my "Grammy's Spiced Salt."
It is one of those fancy flat burner type stoves. The directions say that I shouldn't use my new cast iron skillet. Guess I will just have to ultra careful, cause I love my skillet. Properly seasoned it in my new stove too.
I also have a Kindle which I totally love. Had a heart stopping moment yesterday when all I couldn't get anything but a blank screen. Thank goodness for Best Buy Geeks, forgot the guy's name who helped me, but he knew what to do. Which sort of points a flaw in electronics they give great manuals, on the device, so when you can't get it to work you stuck. No, I'm not gonna print the damn thing out. Rebooting seems to cure Kindles much like it does errant PCs.
Bought a library card yesterday, yes bought, live outside the city so I have to pay $60 a year for the privlege, but man I forgot how fun it is to check out books and haul them home. Found a new place eat right underneath the library, smelled the dang food while I was browsing for books. Another thing that is cool about libraries, the physical browsing of books. Touching them, bending down to find the one you are looking for, and then carrying off your treasure! It's great and it's relatively quiet, nice!
Well, off to start reading my books... yeah!

My din din

2011-01-24T22:57:00.001-08:00

Trying something new to see if it works

The assessories of eating well...

2011-01-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, I lied, I probably don't eat all that well, otherwise not only would have not had a horribly painful day today, I'd be about 20 lbs thinner, at least.

Bought a stove on Friday, but not getting until Feb 3. That's one of the down things about Home Depot, they take forever to deliver your stuff. Of course this time it didn't help that the stove I wanted wasn't in stock. I bought one of those new fangled flat burner stoves. Hoping Marshall will not pee on it, like he does my old broken down stove from time to time.

I also bought my very first cast iron skillet! Cooked fried chicken, sorry forgot to take pictures. Andrew said the chicken was "too dark" but he ate it and the mashed taters. Cast iron gets hot and stays hot, I discovered too late, but with practice I'll get it right.

I'm also going to purchase a ceramic cast iron dutch oven. Wanted a Le Cresuet one, but they are $200! Kohls sells a FoodNetwork version for 59.99, so I will start out with that first and see how I do.

That's the Le Creuset dutch oven. The FoodNetwork one looks the same, just no "le creuset" written on it.

The one below is a Lodge dutch oven and on Amazon is 59.99

Good cooking comes from practice and that's what I will start doing. Before the new stove arrives.

I also got some canisters for my sugar and flour, cat hair is a nightmare and floats into canisters that do not have a lid on them. Nice ones, 19.99 for seven black crockery ones at Bed Bath and Beyond. Not too bad.

Well enough rambling talk at you later.

Found an old friend

2011-01-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

You all know how weird it is to be cruising around facebook and find an old friend. I just found Andy Walton, had a crush on him in high school, but I was a dummy. Anyway, he is of course married, happily, and with children AND even better he is running the family farm, Lake View Farm in Halsey, OR.

http://www.lvfrealfood.com/

Managing pain and eating well

2011-01-16T18:26:00.000-08:00

Nope, I'm not going tell you how to eat well and be pain free, because I have no clue. I have to be satisfied that the pain I have in my hands, hips, knees, and feet is not so bad that I can't walk or drive places. Today my feet really hurt and I woke up with pain in my hands, but I just push on. I don't do all that much right now, so I hope when I do find a job that the pain doesn't increase with my activity.
Having roasted game hen tonight, not sure what else, other than I have had Minute Rice three nights in a row and I'm not having it tonight.
Sipping some Fat Tire and waiting for the hen to cook. I do love a good ale. I really like Pelican Ale but I can only get it by the huge bottle here in Salem, so I have to really want it to buy it since it costs for the one bottle about half of Fat Tire, Long Board, Moose Drool, or any of the other ales I sample from time to time.

Went to the doctor and the doctor said

2011-01-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

it is possible that I have osteoarthritis. So I am going to blog or journal about the pain. Today the pain in my fingers is fairly. Always there but not bad. My toes ache but also not bad. Getting up and down the stairs and in and out of the FJ painfree! I will have to make chart of the pain.

Lunch today

2011-01-11T14:24:00.000-08:00

I know I know, probably over share. I had a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. It was very yummy. Nothing stupifying about it, just Campbell's Soup and bread and Tillamook Medium Cheddar. I would have preferred Sharp, but my daughter bought so I am stuck with her preferred cheese. She did get Tillamook Cheese so I can't gripe too awfully much.
I am still having issues with accessing the blog with my blackberry so I can't show you all a picture yet.
Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Vol. 1
Mastering the Art of French Cooking (2 Volume Set)

Not saying that I am cooking near Julia Child, but maybe some day someone will get me the set and I can try my hand at it. Need a new stove though and pots and pans and ceramic cook pot and knives and well a new kitchen, but the last one will never happen. The others will take a bit of time to accumulate.

blogging with my blackberry

2011-01-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

if I make the text bigger I can't see all of what I am typing if it goes past the first line, like right now, I have no idea if I am spelling things right or not it is very frustratingm So I am apologizing if don't catch errors.

Dinner last night

2011-01-10T10:48:00.000-08:00

not the best I am afraid. I think something I need to do is just slow down and not try to get it done so fast.

Twice?

2011-01-09T13:20:00.000-08:00

yes here I am again. thinking about what to fix for dinner. I have some fair tasting sort of mornay saucem I say sort oe because I used the wrong kind of cheese (pepper jack) and too much of it. Or it could be the I used to dip was old and stale. Have to goget some pork and brussel sprouts for dinner.

The absentee blogger

2011-01-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

So it has been months, no excuses but now I have a smartphone and maybe I will do better. I have been a bad forager, but I have discovered World Market and they have laceys! I also discovered that I need toreplace my stove so I start really cooking againM First purchase after the stove cast iron skillets and good pots. The toaster oven is nice for everyday stuff, but real cooking.

Law and Order SVU

2010-10-15T12:47:00.000-07:00

SVU this week gave a small nod to water issues in Boliva.

Water is life and for some the search is neverending.

2010-10-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

In Oregon we are getting to vote on many things, one of which is Measure 76 which will amend Oregon's Constitution by continuing lottery funding for parks, beaches, wildlife habitat, and watershed protection beyond 2014. Measure 76 does not decrease funding from lottery funds to other areas, only maintaining the current 15%, which for 2011 is approx. $87 million dollars.
In Oregon you don't hear about a lack of water too often, but you do hear about watersheds being lost to development. I am particularly concerned about drinking water as I get my water from a well. 40 years ago when my family first moved out east of Salem we were surrounded by your typical farmland: wheat, grassseed, orchards, corn and berries. Today, Kuenzi Turf has cut down the black walnut orchard that sat for over 50 years down the road to make room for turf. Kuenzi Turf laid down vast sheets of plastic to fumigate the land to ready it for the turf. Kuenzi Turf uses vast amounts of water, pesticides, and fertilizers on much of the area surrounding my home. Kuenzi Turf has expanded to ornamentals for your landscaping needs. Turf, ornamentals none of which anyone needs to live, but which uses lots of chemicals to make your home look pretty.
While my concerns do not come close to the needs of families dealing with drought and lack of clean water it should be a warning to all that there are things in this world far more important than getting your house on the cover of Sunset or Home Beautiful.

National Coming Out Day

2010-10-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

As a straight ally to some of my students, I am constantly horrified by the cruel things people say and do in regards to LGBT students. When adminstrators feel comfortable making jokes about their LGBT students thats when we all have to worry about bullying in our schools. When the teachers fear for their jobs if they say something, that's worse.
If my former students need me they know they can come to me for help in dealing with whatever they have going on. I just don't understand people like the Mormon Elder or Paladino who could just say nothing instead of spreading their hatred.
It hurts my heart and soul when I hear about young people killing themselves for any reason. I know the despair, I understand the depths of the abyss that you can't see your way out of, I survived it and while sometimes I may wish I hadn't there is so much that I wouldn't have accomplished had I been successful. What I did learn was that my parents were probably among the worst to have in such a situation. I got no counseling and all was swept under the rug.
Please don't let the abyss consume you, call your local hotline or the Trevor Project for help. There are people out there who know how to help through the despair.

Michael Pollan on NBC Nightly News

2010-10-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

Michael Pollan on NBC Nightly News

2010-10-06T14:23:00.001-07:00

Gathering and Hunting

2010-10-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

Still reading The Omnivore's Dilemma. No, it's not all that long, I am just not reading as much as I should be. Went to EZ Orchards and bought apples and peaches. Made a fairly yummy peach pie, I think I am finally getting down the "cooking" part of the pie, haven't been cooking it long enough. Primarily because I didn't read all the directions. Sent Kelsey off to hunt for hamburger for the spagetti sauce. I went to Freddies to get some other things, see the picture below, also picked up some reusable produce bags. Amy is right, the bags are attached to plastic!
My other fruit and veggie gathering place is Aspinwall's on 22. Unfortunately, it is no longer on my way home from work so I don't get out that way too often. They do have a restaurant with excellent burgers and yummy fruit milk shakes.
On another subject, water, here in the Willamette Valley we don't hurt for lack of water or access to it. I sit here near the window looking east and I see sprinklers spewing water onto turf. One of Oregon's biggest exports. I would hate to calculate the carbon footprint for a 1 foot by 1 foot section of turf. There is nothing "green" about turf. It is high maintaince and full of pesticides and herbicides. Every other year or so they pull a huge white plastic tarp over about 20 acres and fume the soil to get rid of the rodents and insects. They put up little signs with a skull and crossbones to warn you. I worry about contamination to my well and the wells of my neighbors. While I don't worry access to water I do worry about what is in it.

Peach pie

2010-10-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

The first expedition returns...

2010-10-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

Reading, hunting, gathering

2010-10-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

I've changed some titles, not that I'm not still thinking like teacher, but I have decided to expand my view of who I am. To say that I am just "teacher" is to discount myself. Not so much because I'm currently not teaching, just dropped an application for a position in Pendleton/Hermiston, but because I need to be more than just "teacher."
Still reading Ominvore's Dilemma. As I drink my pop, that has corn syrup in it and eat some corn-fed beef stew, I am living Pollan's first section "The Plant Corn's Conquest." Having viewed King Korn and Food Inc. before even starting this book, I already have a fairly good idea of Pollan's point in this section: corn is in freaking everything including my granddaughter Alexis' diapers! According to Pollan there are over forty five thousand items in the average American supermarket and more than a quarter of them now contain corn (p. 19). It is a scary thought to think that corn is in so much. Well, I guess not so scary as well... I don't really know. Just a good thing I'm not allergic to it I guess.
My next task is to take some pictures of where I forage and hunt. We'll see if the owners of those places allow me to photograph their stores.

The Ominvore's Dilema

2010-09-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

The subtitle "A Natural History of Four Meals" sort of lets the cat of the bag, so to speak. "Our National Eating Disorder" is the title of the introduction. I would have to agree with Pollan. Americans are so ready to let others tell what is good to eat and good for us. I wondered why one year we are told we can eat as much meat as we want, as long as we don't eat bread or pasta, then the next year pasta is good and meat is bad. It is unfortunate that President Clinton recently stated the reason he has been keeping his weight off is because he doesn't eat meat or dairy. Really? It had nothing to with the super duper size hamburgers and shakes you were known to love?
It is nice to know that green tea will help me get rid of my belly fat. I will have to buy a truckload. I have been losing some, not a lot, of weight by just eating moderately and not going crazy. The next step is, of course, to restart my biking regime. Oregon and biking is a big thing, but I think all the bikers I see are truly dedicated. I really don't want to bike in the rain.
But back to Pollan's book, still reading the introduction but I am going to enjoy the book if the intro is any indication of what is to come. I went to Pollan's website, that looks like it hasn't been updated in a bit, but I found some good stuff http://michaelpollan.com/ I went to the web address in the book and it was wrong, no www in it. One cool thing, under the Animal Rights tab he mentions Temple Grandin! Yep! The brilliant autistic animal scientist and author. I am adding his site to my watched list because of this and the fact that there is some good stuff on there.
Watch the videos Food, Inc and King Corn, both available on Netflix if you have it. They are good companions to the book. Oh and The Botany of Desire is also a video and available on Netflix. And in case you like buy them Amazon has all three.

Can you love and care about animals and still eat them?

2010-09-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well, yes I can. Long ago when I was in college and researching for a speech I discovered a cause, Animal Rights. I researched and purchased books by the big names in the movement. I am going to refocus my reading back to those books, the old ones purchased 20 years ago and newer ones like The Omnivore's Dilema. Ok, the The Omnivore's Dilema really isn't about animal rights, but about what we put in our big fat stomachs. I will start with Pollan's book and read his other book The Botany of Desire.
But first I want to put a bug in your ears, what would happen if PETA and HSUS get their wish and we all become vegans? What will happen to slaughter houses, oh this reminds me I will have to either purchase Temple Grandin's books or audiobooks, but I digress. Along with slaughter houses will be meat packing plants, feed lots, hog farms, sheep and cattle ranches, etc, etc. The jobs associate with those industries will go away and all of the people employed will be unemployed. It is ignorant to think that growing more crops will give those people jobs. And what about the animals? They will go the way of the dodo just as PETA and HSUS want it. Once they have gotten rid of the meat animals they will go after your pets. Actually zoos will probably be next on the hit list. Horse slaughter has been eliminated in the US, but horses are still transported to Canada and Mexico. There is legislation to stop the transport of horses for slaughter. I do not at all have an issue with not slaughtering horses. Sorry, but to me it is like putting one of my dogs on the roaster. But, wait, don't forget horses are basically pets to many of us. But PETA and HSUS have huge issues with horse shows, rodeos... well actually rodeos will be gone because there won't be any calves, bulls or steers. I am ambivalent about rodeos currently. Oh and horse racing and pacing. So... all of the things I like to do will be eliminated.
So the first book Omnivore's Dilema by Michael Pollan. I have it on audiobook so I can be lazy if I want ;-)

It has been awhile...

2010-09-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

I have not finished Angus... and I have put it up on the shelf. I still recommend it and I think I will snag it from time to time for a good laugh. Not sure about the next book, but I'm a bit in dumper again and clinging to the hope that my settlement check for this month will cover my bills, feed me and the pets, put gas in my car, and actually I think that's it. I'd much rather have a job so that all of the settlement check could go to paying off the dang bills, but I think I am not going to find anything.

2010-09-17T17:03:00.001-07:00

I have been lazy

2010-09-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

I do believe it has been a couple of days since I last signed on. No excuses just tired of life. I found the Pink Hands video after seeing a piece on the news and then I asked my daughter and she helped me with the name.
Please watch it is wonderful.

Pink Glove Dance

2010-09-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

All parents of pre teen girls should read this novel.

2010-09-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, I said it and I'm not even a quarter of the way through it. Louse Rennison has channeled a teenage girl or she has remembered what it was like to be a teenage girl. Either way, so far, I am really liking this novel. She has the venacular down, well as good as I can tell not being from England.

I took some time and wandered through the glossary, I came upon the word "stroppy" just as a woman on Judge Mathais was demonstrating the state on TV. I remember being a bit stroppy at least twice a year when my students attempted to send me to the loony bin!

Why should parents of pre teen girls read this when the novel is about a teenager? That would because you will all get an extraordinary laugh from it and it will help cope when those cute little Tweens turn into monsters. Trust me.

The choice is made

2010-09-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

I love watching BBC shows, not the comedies so much, but I think that is why I am pulled to this novel. Angus... is a diary written by British teenager. There is a glossary in the back in case you need, which I did just on the intro page, "nuddypants" is a person with no pants on! Yep, nude! I do believe Georgia will grow on me. Especially with comments like, "I don't see why I can't have a lock on my bedroom door. Every time I suggest anything around this place, people start shaking their heads and tutting. It's like living in a house full of chickens dressed in frocks and trousers."
Georgia is going to be fun to get to know, and like I said earlier in the day sometimes I feel like a teenager so ....

Two choices...

2010-09-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Both of these books interest me, obviously I was intrigued by them when I added them to my first donorschoose grant. But now I see that there is a series of "confessions of Georgia Nicolson" novels and I may get addicted. I hate getting addicted to a book series, because I get all OCD and I have need to read them all. Luckily this is the first in the series.
Given no input from my plethora of readers I will have to choose on my own. Stay tuned.

Finished!!!

2010-09-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

Well I'm done in one two hour marathon, I have completed the rules of survival! No real spoiler alert as I hate those things and I won't tell end of the novel here.

Matthew, Callie, Emmy, Murdoch, Ben, and Aunt Bobbie are the kind of family you would want. Maybe not all they've done, but how family rallies around in a time of need. Nikki reminds me of other characters in other books before I knew what bipolar was or had had any experience dealing with it personally.

Something I realized as I was reading is that sometimes, like recently, I feel as if I am still a teenager in need of an adult to take care of me. The post earlier about being self centered was a slight dump on myself. My parents were always there to help me, but with a firm knowledge that there was some kind of payback coming in the future. When that unmentioned payback never came there was always the total lack of support in whatever I was doing. It didn't matter if it was horses, sheep, college, or my marriage there was no real support and always an underlying sort of sabotage. The kind of sabotage that would have me running home to them.

My mother was a master at it and my father just followed along because he loved her so much. My mother was more likely a borderline personality I think. Manipulative in her push pull of her family and friends. Not manic then depressed like a bipolar person.

This is the kind of novel students can get a grip on because of the children against parent theme. It is nice because it isn't filled with all the angst that can sometimes run rampant through a young adult novel. Readers can identify with the characters even if they have never experienced the hyper manic bipolar. We all manipulate in some way and we all have at one time or another tried to keep the family waters smooth. A good read, a good reading circle book for the high school classroom.

Now on to a new novel...

the rules of survival

2010-09-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

I am nearly at the halfway point in the novel. The dawning realization by Matt and Callie that their is more to what their mother does is slowly coming to light. The youngest, Emmy, prayed before bed that Murdoch would return to them. This of course enrages Nikki and mobilizes Matt and Callie to protect their little sister. Folded the book closed at the point where Matt and Callie have been kicked out of the house to go to church. Emmy having to stay home with Nikki and the man she brought home with her, because Emmy has been bad and doesn't deserve to go to church.

Today, when I thought of the title of the novel, I realized we all in some way create rules for ourselves and sometimes our families that help us survive the truly rough spots. I don't think I would have realized this if I wasn't going through this particular rough patch right now. Without a job and, for the time being, no money it is difficult for me to see beyond. With the settlement from the school district I will have money and health insurance for six months. But that is little comfort when I don't have a job. I'm drinking more water, obviously because it is free so that is making me a bit more healthy and I'm losing weight because I am trying to make what I have in the house right now last until the first settlement check shows up next week. I hate being self centered and thinking about myself all of the time. I had finally clawed my way out of that rut years ago. A side effect of being an only child I think, but once you have to think of others you can claw out. Once my children came into my life I was able to see that what I wanted wasn't as important as what they needed. I guess that's why I feel so hurt that Kelsey has just severed our relationship. I know that she is the sole of her family and that my life is second to them. But, they have lived in my house rent and expense free, other than their food since last August. Only once did I have to rely on them to pay the monthly bills. Now, when I need her help again I am made to feel guilty for asking for help with things like the electricity bill for July and August and to buy dogfood when their two dogs are here with me. I do not and will never feel guilty for asking for help with the phone bill since I am paying for Matt to have a phone!
I hear that voicing these kinds of frustrations is cathartic, but I don't feel like any weight is lifted off of my shoulders. I am more depressed than when I first started writing this.
Going to go sit on the porch and read some more. Maybe the next book will Angus... and full frontal snogging.. Makes me smile just trying to remember the entire title.

Credit reports and finding or not finding a job.

2010-09-12T14:35:00.000-07:00

I would apologize to you all if there were actual people out there reading what I am writing. But I'm thinking that if you are you aren't letting me know.

I have been lax in my reading the past three days. In an emotional slump from which I will eventually emerge, I hope. I am down about not finding a job, feeling as if I have no marketable skills and that my credit report is so bad that for some reason that makes not a good choice. Which is interesting because my financial woes are not an issue when it comes to work. It's one of those catch 22s that I can't get out of. I can't mend my finances without a job and I cant' seem to find a job with a bad credit score. Interesting.

On to the novel, I am really liking how the main character, Matthew, is evolving within his retelling of his family's story. A mother that is bipolar is a difficult thing to live with. She puts her youngest child in harm's way deliberately because her children and new boyfriend are boring. The incident pushes the boyfriend away. To Matthew and his sister Callie Murdoch was going to be their savior and he was for a time. Even their little sister Emmy, who at three had yet to string a sentence together, begins talking to Murdoch.

Writing about the novel has made me want to go back and read some more. Nice trick. The book link from Amazon is for a book that my reading read for September. No I didn't read it, remember I have no money for luxuries like books. Anyway, it sounds like this would be a good grown up read and it is a true memoir if you don't like to read young adult fiction like I do.

Reading slowly but loving it.

2010-09-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't gotten too far, not sure why, but I am loving this novel. I don't have any brothers or sisters and I am finding the sibling dynamic very enlightening. Not that I didn't know that siblings can be self sacrificing for one another, it's just that reading it now when I'm not feeling a whole lot of family support it hits home.
I knew long ago that my children wouldn't or couldn't be self sacrificing to help me. It isn't how the parent child relationship works.
Anyway, the prose is easy to read and the plot grows more enticing even though I still have that darn spoiler floating around in my head. Matthew, Callie, and Emmy have a hard time dealing with the explosive anger of their mother. Got the first real feeling of that this morning as I was reading. You will too, no spoilers from me.

2010-09-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

Poetry SLAM SAFE for Students

Just a test, though I love Slam poetry... See the video below with Taylor Mali.

the rules of survival

2010-09-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

So far, this is a really good novel about family survival. As the oldest, Matthew, has spent his growing up years protecting his sisters from their mother. The novel is a letter/diary written by Matthew for his youngest sister Emmy. It opens with a letter to Emmy from Matthew telling her that if she is reading the letter then he has decided she is old enough to know what happened.

Amazon has an author page for Nancy Werlin, something I didn't know about until I went searching for a picture of the novel. The edition that I have and that is offered on Amazon also has a discussion guide at the end of the novel. I haven't read it as I want to read the entire novel first. I did come across a spoiler at the end, don't read it like I did because now that spoiler is stuck in my mind as I read it.

Taylor Mali on what teachers make

2010-09-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

A new book

2010-09-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

A book perhaps just as gloomy as Nip the Buds, but maybe it is something cultural I can't get past. This one has the US as the setting. The back cover says, "For Matt and his sisters, life with their cruel, vicious mother is a day-to-day struggle for survival." Gloomy but hopeful I hope.

On page 42!

2010-09-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

I am sorry to say that I just can't wade through this book at this time. Perhaps it's is my personal junk getting in the way of a good read. This is the second time I have gotten this far and no further. Back on the shelf and on to another from my classroom shelf, well I no longer have a classroom, but one of the books I had on the shelf when I had a classroom.

It's not looking promising...

2010-09-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

I am only on page 36 and already I've read "faggot" more than once and references to male prostitution. I'll keep on trudging. In the introduction the editors mention Lord of the Flies and I'm thinking a good companion. But, we'll see. I like the prose, though I haven't read much, if any, translated works I am seeing that perhaps the prose could get in the way of a good read for some students.

Next read..

2010-09-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

A book that has the word, "penises," on the very first page. There is a huge introduction that students will find odious to say the least. Well at least many of my former students. I am not certain, though I am barely into the book that this is a book I would share with an entire class. I will have to finish the book to see if, with parental permission, I would recommend to any student.

What am I reading?

2010-09-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

The Boy Who Dared: A Novel Based on the True Story of a Hitler Youth by Susan Campbell Bartoletti. A very easy read, especially for middle school students. The story is told in the first person omniscient from the point of view of Helmut Hubener. The story follows Helmut from his 14th year to his 16th when he is executed for treason for listening to the banned BBC News and posting leaflets throughout Hamburg, Germany in 1942.
What struck me about the story is Helmut's determination to get the truth out and the cost he paid for doing that. The novel illustrates how bystanders can and do cause genocide to happen by doing nothing. It also shows how fear can lead people to betray loved ones and colleagues for fear of being arrested, tortured, and executed yourself.
Every time I teach about the Holocaust I wonder what I would have done. Would I let my friends and family be taken away to save myself. Or would I, as some did, try to stop the Germans at the cost of a beating, imprisonment, or death? I can't answer that question with certainty. I know what I feel I would do and I would rescue as many as I could. The risk would have been great, but rescue is much less likely to cause my family to be hurt.
The novel is designed for young adults to read and is not graphic in its detail. There is a section at the end of the book with pictures and a short biography of Helmut's friends Karl and Rudi. There is also a discussion guide on Scholastic that I have not yet to explore www.scholastic.com/discussionguides

All I can think about is that I have no money...

2010-09-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

and that hurts me to my soul. I have no control over what certain people say about me that I must put into each application. I hope that these people say neutral things about me, that they don't let their personal issues with me fog up my ability to get a teaching job.
This is the longest time I have not been teaching since 1994. This is the first time in my life that I think I could lose everything because of my inability to better manage my savings over the summer. I haven't ever been this disabled by a lack of money. I know that my father is probably trying to pound his way out of his grave to berate me for my lack of foresight.
Summer is always hard for me. But the past 8 or so summers I have been teaching summer school and I have used that money to at pay up bills so that I am not in the spot I am in now.
I am a burden to my family and I would so rather have them be a burden to me. My daughter is the only one working right now and Burgerville has cut her hours because there were family issues this last week and she took time off. So, they cut her hours. Her husband is being the stay at home dad, but should really be working. I could watch the girls, I mean I am getting no interviews so why not help them out that way.
I am hoping that Tuesday will be a good day and I will be having to arrange interview times rather than automatically saying I can be there whenever.

Bullied: A Student, a School and a Case That Made History

2010-08-25T16:12:00.000-07:00