The Hunter/Gather of Surburbia

Are we where we live?

August 12, 2012

Two posts in one day!

This morning I woke up and as usual spent some time just laying in bed and thinking about stuff. The first thing that popped in my head was when my parents fostered a girl in the hopes of adopting her. Unfortunately for me and for Wendy, my mother wasn't very good at mothering two daughters. Also I sucked as big sister. I could say I was thrust into the role, but I that doesn't quite work for me. I just sucked at it. I had been an only child for 12 or so years, not too sure of the exact timeline, I was still at St Vincents so I know it had to be before Junior High, which was 7th to 9th grade in my time.
I just totally sucked, I didn't know how to sister her and as a family we weren't in any kind of counseling. My parents, ok my mother, wouldn't have gone to counseling. I know my dad didn't want to give up on working to be a family of four, but he always gave in to my mom no matter what.
The day the person came to get Wendy was a very hard time for me. My mother and father were not there for me, I didn't want Wendy to go once I realized what was happening. But I though she was sent away because of me, now I think it was because my mother just sucked at dividing her attention. If there were behavior issues with Wendy I wasn't aware of them and it was my parents' job to get her the help she needed. But for my mother to admit she was at fault or doing something wrong or letting me do something wrong, would have meant that hell was freezing over and zombies were walking the Earth.
Since that day, each time I had to give up a pet I have felt extreme anger at my parents. To this day I didn't realize that maybe it was that day so very long ago when my Companion was taken away from me. I know that I always felt her removal was my fault and my parents never said any different. Perhaps that was also the day that began the rift with my mother. If it had been just me and my father we would have muddled through and I would have a sister. But because of my mother I am an only child. My mother spent her life trying to arrange the right friends, activities, and even husband. None of that worked once I hit high school. She wanted me in cooking 4-H, I did that, and I did Horse 4-H and then joined FFA and raised sheep for a time.
I would have to say that the most support I ever got, that was given freely without reservation was when I moved home pending my divorce. Ok, sort of freely, because they hated my husband/exhusband. But they loved my children and helped me get my teaching degree. I know my mother was not at all happy with my choice of profession, but by this time she understood that I really didn't care about her opinion. I no longer craved or sought it out. She was my mother, she raised me, and I loved her.
Did I stay single because I didn't want the hassle of dealing with a man and my parents? Maybe, initially it was because I wanted to make I didn't make the same mistake. My kids were little and I wasn't willing to have a train of men in and out of their lives. I am also pathologically shy, so that holds a very close second. Would our lives had been different if I had gone husband shopping? Maybe, but we muddled through. I do wish I would have found a man who could show my son how to work on cars and other manly things. Actually, an old boyfriend did show up, but because of his brain injury from a motorcycle accident he remembered the old me and not the new and to this day he continues too. Yes, a symptom of the brain injury, but also one of his unwillingness to listen to the words I say in response to his inappropriate sexual questions, the latest high, or low depending on how you look at it, was to ask me if I ever had sexual thoughts about my male students! Really? Was he just stupid or crass or both? My instant response was of course, no. My second response was why would you ask that? He really didn't have a response and just changed the subject. Yes, brain injury, I get it, but I guess my response to the people who may say, "Oh Lisa, you have to give him leeway," is bullshit I don't! If you know you have short term memory issues, then you journal every moment you want to be sure you remember. Just a thought.
The good thing about being an only child is that now so far away from home, I may ache for my family, but I can deal with the solitude.

Are you a Whovian?

I think to be a Whovian you have to be a fan of Dr. Who from the beginning. So I guess I am a Whovian2. I have only been watching since 2005 with the reboot and the 9th Doctor. I really have little desire to go back and watch the older Doctors. A curiosity for sure, but no obsession. One reason is that I have this OCD need to start from the beginning, so once I found the old Who episodes, if they exist on streaming Netflix, I would at least have to start with the rejuvination to the 8th Doctor. Then I would wonder about the 7th, as well as, finding my favorite Companion Mary Jane and the faithful K-9.
I say Mary Jane is my favorite because of my introduction to her in whatever spin offish program she was in and then her reintroduction to the 10th Doctor. I especially liked her sparring with Rose as to who had the most unusual adventure with the Doctor. My favorite Companion? Maybe Donna. I don't consider River a Companion, but she would be my favorite for all the reasons that others speak about. She is the perfect foil to the Doctor before he knows who she is and because of that. It was a brilliant move to have her be the daughter of Rory and Amy. That she was Amy's companion as a child is something that I find intriguing on a somewhat evil level.
I'll keep watching Dr Who and the change in Companions that is coming. "Spoilers," are annoying and that it has already been broken that a new Companion is coming and who she is, is somewhat irritating. I figured Amy and Rory's tenure was coming to a close, new spoiler there, but giving us all a look at he new Companion is annoying. Perhaps BBC America has done this all along, I have only had it for close two years, so maybe they always do this. Patience is a virtue. I could care less if younger fans have a need to know, it is just annoying to be given nearly complete plots before they become available.
On that same note, True Blood is becoming stupid and insipid. I could care less about the young's obsession with vampires, the books are based on Sookie, not the freaking vamps or weres. True Blood needs to get back to its roots and stop rewriting entire swaths of who Sookie is to her devoted readers.
I am seeing close to the same thing with Longmire, but so far the scripts are still revolving around Walt. I so very much hope the writers of Longmire don't deviate from Craig Johnson's vision. I am still waiting for Dog to show up and tonight is the season finale. Dog is a cool dog and Walt's relationship with him in the books is so real that if the f it up I may stop watching altogether.